Give me advice please! Read through it and feel free to comment on anything you like! Thanks a lot!
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Hey! I'm Kaven, the first thing you'd notice about our room is that there seems to be some big lump tangled in the bedsheets on my side of the room, that's me. No, I'm not suffocating, and yes, this is how I sleep. After you get to know me, you'll find that I sleep like a rock, not even earthquakes can wake me! Not that I've been through one before, I'll experiment later. Oh, and good luck trying to decipher my personality through how I sleep, I think my sleeping pattern's a mix of everything, I just toss and turn until I'm thoroughly trapped in my sheets. You'll probably spend the majority of our 4 years together trying to help me get out of bed.
After I'm awake and untangled it gets better. I'm not a person of habit. I could go outside for a run, or just sit on the couch staring outside the window for an indefinite amount of time before I remember that I need to have breakfast. Food gets me going like nothing else does. There's an idea! If you need me to do something and I don't cooperate, you can literally "dangle the carrot", I will be under your control.
Don't be worried when I am silent for a long time and have a glazed look in my eyes, I'm probably just having an out of body experience, somewhere near Alpha Centauri. Speaking of Alpha Centauri, have you ever wondered whether we can ever reach the boundaries of the universe? Oh, don't answer that question. I ask a lot of random questions and jump topics quite often, sometimes an idea hits me. When that happens you can just hand me a piece of paper, I'll just write it all down and lose it within the week. Bear with me. I will try to control myself, and my eclectic personality, but I think that you will grow to like me and we'll be great friends!
Yours,
Kaven Peng
Again, please comment!
I feel like you can do a better job when it comes to explaining your "eclectic" personality. Alot of this just makes it seem like you have ADHD, and an unorganized demeanor about you. Use this as an opportunity to reveal something about you to admissions, something that draws them into who you are besides your writing style and ability to speak lightly of your lack of concentration.
Read some others, and see how they are able to cheat a little by telling the admissions office a strong quality about them that they couldn't normally reveal, but would be able to tell a peer (roommate)
until I'm thoroughly trapped in my sheets.
After I'm awake and untangled it gets better.
You are a comedy writer! Excellent, I hope you check out EssayForum Contributor Page.
Well, this is great for showing the reader your wit and intelligence, but you also have the opportunity to show how focused you are on your chosen field. That is really most important. Mention topics associated with your career of interest, as though you canot help but talk about it because you are so focused on your plan.
:-)
