I hope to take advantage of the opportunities at BU, and at Boston. Containing superior educational opportunities like BU, Boston, a leading finance center, has all I dreamed of. "College life in BU is like traveling around the world." As my friends said. Along with vibrant and dynamic campus life, BU has students, even one third of the faculty members in economics department, from countries outside the U.S. My eagerness of experiencing the diversity of people can be greatly met. Major in economics, I was attracted by the Economics department . My love of public speaking can be largely satisfied by its guest speakers. Its awards and scholarships will promote me to do better as well. Only by attending BU can I live in a lovely city, enjoy ideal life while pursue academic goal.
Thanks
You have a lot of grammar issues in this essay; try to have an adult read it over and they can help you with that b/c there's way too many for me to fix here. Also, make your essay much more specific. The admissions officers want to know that there's reasons you want to attend BU other than the fact that it's in Boston.
thanks I will do it
Wording issues, but otherwise it sounds great
Why BU please help!
Thanks
Boston, a city witnesses America history, has everything I am long for especially superior educational opportunities. "College life in BU is like traveling around the world." My friends said. I feel truly belong to vibrant and dynamic campus life in BU. Smart and curious BU students will benefit and inspire me. My eagerness of experiencing the diversity of people from assorted backgrounds can be greatly met by BU's international community. Meanwhile, major in economics, I am attracted by the Undergraduate Economics Association. My love of dissertation will be largely satisfied by its guest speakers. Its scholarships will promote me to do better as well. Only by attending BU can I live in a lovely city, enjoy ideal life while pursue academic goal.
Is it coherent?More comments?Thanks!!
I feel like I truly belong to vibrant and dynamic campus life in BU.
The essay is a bit all over the place. Maybe focusing on one or two aspects of BU would be better. It would be more coherent and easier to understand.
I agree with theboss639 it's hard to follow...
thanks guys, I will reverse it
These are the things you mentioned in your essay
-City
-Studying with smart students
-Diversity
I think you are commenting too much on the city and too little on how BU can help you achieve your academic goals.
Almost everybody who's applying to BU talk about the city and the campus. To make it a little more personal, talk about the
academic opportunities you can take advantage of at BU. Not much to comment on your writing skill. Just look out for the second sentence.
It sounds a bit awkward.
Other than that, I think you have a solid essay.
Hope you get into BU ! :)
