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"Economics and Mathematics as a single major" - Columbia short essay


2011bss 4 / 6  
Feb 13, 2011   #1
Please peruse it for me. Help me shorten it a bit as it's 64 characters longer than the limit. Thanks :)

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:

Columbia University is among the very few schools in the USA which offer Economics and Mathematics as a single major, include Business Studies in liberal arts and provide ample opportunities for students with interests in finance and accounting to explore them. I had always wanted to double major in Economics and Mathematics but I felt that if I do so, I might be unable to enjoy liberal arts fully. The combined Economics-Mathematics major at Columbia College was one of the first things that developed my interest in this institution as I want to go to graduate school post-college. I also enjoy studying business especially, finance and accounting. Courses offered under the financial economics major and business concentration at Columbia would allow me to explore my interest in leadership, organizational behavior and accounting practices. I have always found business a field tied with philosophy, psychology and sociology. Abraham Maslow was a psychologist but his "Hierarchy of Needs" is very popular in HR studies. Philosophy allows one to think radically and that's what Adam Smith did. A business has to consider changes in societal structure and other relevant parameters before planning its overall strategy.

Beside this, what attracted me to Columbia was its cricket club. Though it is a small venture, it greatly influenced my choice to apply to Columbia. Cricket is my favorite sport and I have played it at varsity-level in high school. I really want to continue playing it in college and if I get in, I hope to expand the scale of the club.

EricJ - / 48  
Feb 14, 2011   #2
Those crazy kids at college-admission-essay-help.com chose your short essay for a complete rewrite.

Here is the revised short answer:

Columbia is one of the few American schools to offer a single major in mathematics and economics, include business studies in liberal arts, and give students interested in finance and accounting chances to explore them fully. The courses that are part of this major will allow me to explore my interest in leadership, organizational behavior, and accounting. Columbia's liberal arts classes will give me the broad background to apply learning from other disciplines to business problems. Besides these reasons, I want to help expand Columbia's Cricket Club. I played varsity cricket in high school and would very much like to play in college.

In the editor's view, the stuff about about Adam Smith, Maslow, and philosophy did not add anything to your essay.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 21, 2011   #3
I might be unable to enjoy liberal arts fully.

Right after this sentence, I think you should have a thesis statement that expresses the main idea of the essay. Then, end the first paragraph.

To make room, you can cut all the stuff about the cricket club. If they only allow you a little bit of room, you should focus on your academic interests, which you did very well!!

:-)


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