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Education: What don't you know? Brown supplement


zcampbell 2 / 6  
Sep 21, 2010   #1
I'm planning on using either this or the other essay I have posted on this site as my admissions essay. Please help me revise this one, and tell me which of the two is better if you have time.

Prompt: French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

As I ponder the never-ending list of the yet unacquired knowledge of the world, I realize and am overjoyed that human thirst for understanding will withstand any opposition put in its path, but this contemplation also instills questions in my mind of whether or not I will reach a level of satisfaction with my attainment of knowledge and gets me thinking about just what it is that I don't know.

To the question of what I do not know, the principal answer is quite surprising to most people, given my air of intelligence and hard work. What I am referring to is the fact that I am still undecided about my major and career path. Even at a young age, when I was asked what I wanted to do when I got older, while all of the other boys were answering that they wanted to be a firefighter or a policeman or some sort of celebrity, I would simply shrug my shoulders and say, "I don't know." I feel that growing up in such a small town has cut me off from the world of possibilities available for someone like me. Where I come from, if you are highly educated, you go to college and become either a teacher or someone in the medical field, both career choices that I have considered but do not find to be "me."

For many people, this would be a frightening concept, not having a precise path drawn for their future, but especially in recent years, I have discovered that I love to try new things. Going from skateboarding to bungee jumping to wrestling, I am a risk-taker but not so much that I do not plan ahead. Had I attempted any of the aforementioned activities without the aid of careful planning, it is likely that I would not be alive to tell the tale.

My choice of Brown University was not made without considering what I do not know. At Brown, I plan to use the open curriculum to my advantage and take classes across as many disciplines as I can to turn what I do not know into what I do know. With the freedom and liberal method at Brown, I will be able to take everything in which I have even the slightest smidgeon of interest, roll it up into a ball called freshman and sophomore year, and examine that ball until I know with absolute certainty where I want it to roll. I will be surrounded by people who share my same passions, something I am not exceedingly accustomed to in my hometown, and these people will provide me with any additional aid that I do not receive from the faculty and curriculum at Brown.

Overall, I could go on for days about what it is that I do not know, but what I do know is that if I am admitted to Brown University, the list entailing that which is unbeknownst to me will get shorter with everyday, and my most severe unknowns will disappear just as quickly as the minor ones. I am glad to say that what I do not know makes me who I am, but ecstatic to say that what I do not know will soon become what I do know.
donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 21, 2010   #2
I feel that growing up in such a small town has cut me off from the world of possibilities available for someone like me.

Please elaborate because many of us have enjoyed life in small town and its thousands of opportunities.
You should stress on the idea of "not knowing" with you and its importance. Not knowing is a huge X that we keep unraveling.

The biggest X is human body which we are still trying to figure out. The brain is still a mystery. You can make center theme I don't know X.

Its like finding an eternal X that we humans keep searching. Its our quench for unraveling the X that has made us evolve through the period of time.

Rework the content and then post it up once for review. :)
braiden992 - / 18  
Sep 22, 2010   #3
Zak,

I really...really...recommend that you rewrite your first paragraph. You are trying too hard...and while I think you are intelligent, it comes off as pseudo intelligent. If you continue to elaborate on the following paragraphs, I think you'll produce a great admissions essay. You want to be personal and unique...and you have accomplished that once the reader gets past the irony of the opening paragraph. If all you know is what you know...how much energy and time can you spend wondering about what you don't know?...do you see the humor in what you wrote? Not trying to be too harsh and I wish you the best.
lucasadams - / 1  
Oct 21, 2010   #4
I'm sorry but you come off as a little cocky in your essay. The vibe that is given off is that you think you are smarter than everyone else. This really doesn't fly at an Ivy where everyone is top of their class. Just sayin you might want to look over it again.
Rada829 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2010   #5
I agree the first paragraph shows you're trying too hard.
Also, I think you should write about something different rather than about you not knowing your major. After all, this quote means so much more than that.


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