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My education - Trinity College Supplemental Essay: How would you contribute?

Jan 19, 2021   #1

Trinity contribution

Our mission states: "Engage. Connect. Transform. As the preeminent liberal arts college in an urban setting, Trinity College prepares students to be bold, independent thinkers who lead transformative lives." Keeping the three pillars of the mission in mind, how do you see yourself contributing to the Trinity community? (650 words)

Having grown up in a Sikh family, I have always been preached philanthropic values. That is why, participating in community service has been a significant part of my story. From serving langar at gurudwaras to volunteering at NGOs, the scale of the problem may be small, yet my urge to solve it is always humongous.

More often than not, I find that solutions to such problems can be found amongst the practical applications of the array of disciplines taught at school. Using my academic knowledge outside my school not only helps me propagate social welfare but also deepens my understanding of the subject itself. One such instance was when I collaborated with my friends to supply electrical power to rural schools in our locality. To achieve this, I relied on the concepts of piezoelectricity or other miscellaneous scientific principles to build and deploy piezoelectric floormats.

In the same light, at Trinity College, I intend to pursue a liberal arts education in its true sense, wherein I develop critical interdisciplinary skills that would enhance my toolset for helping the community. Apart from majoring in Computer Science, I would like to explore majors in Philosophy and Psychology which, I believe, would make me a more holistic person with a deeper understanding of people's mindsets. This would ultimately allow me to maintain a compassionate and nurturing environment for those around me. Trinity's mission - "Engage. Connect. Transform." - embodies ideals of independent thought, innovation, and humanitarianism. It would foster my pursuits and enable me to help my community in an unprecedented and robust manner.

The college's myriad endeavours in social welfare and interdisciplinary guidance would better help me engage with it and recognize issues. I am enthralled at the prospect of being able to combine my passion for philanthropy with my love for computer science by pursuing undergraduate research through the renowned Summer Research Program. I am vastly interested in the field of artificial intelligence, and its usage to recognize symptoms of medical maladies or industrial disasters.

Moreover, at Trinity - surrounded by people with a prominent social conscience - I look forward to learning from and adding to the potpourri of diverse experiences across cultures and academic disciplines. It is the cross-fertilization of such opinions that shines a light on the future and enables critical thinking. Trinity would hence provide an environment where I can form deep connections, get inspired and inspire others, question my beliefs, venture outside my comfort zone, and aid my peers through their intellectual curiosities with complete support. Through this process, I would come out of Trinity a much better person.

Additionally, I am excited to transform the outcomes of organizations or projects I participate in through the S.A.I.L Office with my individual ideas. By integrating my academic learnings, I believe I can bring a more humane and compassionate perspective to such projects, as well as amplify their achievements. Principles of IT can increase the outreach and efficiency of organizations like Green Campus and Habitat for Humanity. Furthermore, integrating virtual interfaces could produce wonderful results in ConnectiKids. They would also open up the opportunity to systematically promote positive values through their education, enriching them not just as students but as human beings.

Using the numerous opportunities Trinity would provide me to use my education for the betterment of the world is when, I believe, my education would truly begin. I, therefore, aim to not only transform the world but also myself - as a scholar, a friend, and a responsible philanthropist. I hope to develop the skills and patience to not just produce independent thoughts but also transform them into meaningful and lasting action.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,926 3851  
Jan 19, 2021   #2
The essay is too self-absorbed. You are always talking about what you can take from the university rather than what you can contribute. The whole essay should be about your contribution to the community. You were off to a good start when you discussed your Sikh upbringing. I was hoping to read more about how that upbringing would translate into your contribution to the Trinity College community. Instead, it veered into the "Myself" territory for most of the essay. Focusing on what you hope to learn and experience rather than what you can contribute. Paragraphs 2-5 are off track as far as I am concerned, as I know you will have a different opinion about what the actual focus of the essay is. However, I believe the focus should be on:

how do you see yourself contributing to the Trinity community?

Clearly paragraphs 2-5 do not focus on what you can contribute, just what you can take from the community. The mention of S.A.I.L. got you back on track, all the way to the end of that paragraph. Then, you dropped the ball again with your closing paragraph. Look into the community clubs and organizations of Trinity. There are many you can mention in this essay that will help you explain how you can bring your Sikh upbringing to the university, with a resulting happier community just because of how you were brought up. Your upbringing, properly explained in relation to the various clubs and organizations at the college will definitely help you explain how you can improve on the presentation of the 3 pillars, which seem to have a solid foundation in your Sikh upbringing as well.

Translate the langar into your participation at a soup kitchen or food bank, or any sort of community food support system the college might have, transform lives by teaching your college-mates about the Guru Granth Sahib and the inner peace that it can bring ( promoting meditation or something), I know the Sikh do not believe in proselytizing, however, I mentioned this only as a form of connecting and / or transforming the lives of those around you ( those who might need some sort of help or support, just an idea...) based on the requirement of the 3 pillars to "Engage. Connect. Transform." I believe your background perfectly fits the bill. You just haven't properly considered how to do it.

You need to show your potential to bring diversity to the college community while helping to promote a better understanding of your background. You have to show that your addition, based on your way of life, will be something unique that the community can benefit from. This time, it is not about you and what you can receive, rather, it is about you and what you can give.
Jan 19, 2021   #3
Hi @Holt, these are fantastic suggestions! I shall get working on them right away. Thank you for your help!

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