Upon touring Brown, I fell in love with everything the campus/university had to offer. I applied early decision and am currently waiting to hear back by December, hopefully with some life changing news. I was just curious about the feedback I would receive for my essay on Brown's supplement. Honesty is greatly appreciated. =) Positive or negative criticism will help me prepare myself for the future results of my application. I chose the following topic:
French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?
The age our society lives in today is one of endless amounts of information. Fortunately, there are many resources for acquiring this information. Many have said that the most recent generation, Generation Y, "has it easy" because of the available access to the internet and other electronic sources. This opinion does possess some validity. Generation Y does have a much wider range of academic sources than past generations have had available to them. However, what isn't usually recognized is the responsibility and obligation we have to this endless amount of information that has been made available. We are called to use this infinite amount of information to become the intellects of society and to take advantage of this information in ways our predecessors couldn't. However, with this great required responsibility comes another required attribute, educational desire.
As a result of this increase in available information, I am beginning to realize and comprehend all that I don't know. The amount of what I don't know is nowhere near or even comparable to what I do know. If an education can be defined by differentiating between what I do know and what I don't, and if what I don't know will always be greater than what I do know due to the extent of information in the world, then aren't the possibilities for furthering my education endless? However in order for the possibilities for furthering my education to be endless, a certain quality must be prevalent, educational desire. I possess this desire to be a self-learner and to seek out the answers to questions beyond what a formal education might supply. I realize that the world is full of unknowns waiting to be answered. Education should be about answering what isn't known in the quest to be better prepared to solve the next, perhaps more complex unknown. Accepting all that isn't known is power and opportunity combined into one; the power to continue my education and the opportunity to keep growing by increasing my knowledge. I realize that I need to be investigative towards unknown information. Branching out into the academic unknown can be viewed as exposure to vulnerability and error, but it is the errors committed that help to make academic growth possible.
Through realizing all that I don't know, I am supplying my educational desire to answer what I don't know and therefore empowering myself to continue my education all throughout my life. Increasing my education is a life-long goal, and it is through my interest in what I don't know that I am strengthening my love for learning and also continually propelling my education. To answer what I don't know: I don't know what my purpose in life is, I don't know what impact I will have on the world, and I don't know what social, ethical or moral problems I will be faced with; but because I have a passionate desire to continually learn, I can ensure that I will strive to answer all that I don't know.
Your essay is very informative and well written, but you don't actually say anything about yourself, besides the fact that you know that there's enough information out there to keep you learning forever. Maybe you should tell what you want to study, or say something about why that school is special. It's a good essay, but doesn't really have anything to do with you academically or Brown University.
Well, I see some self-expression in the theme of "educational desire." Still, it's very general. Also, This seems strange: "beginning to realize and comprehend all that I don't know. " It seems like a contradiction to say you realize and comprehend what you don't know.
Capitalize Internet.
Like Susan mentioned, it would be great if you could use this opportunity to express a little about you -- your aspirations and intentions.
