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Educational goal ; Engineering interests ; Waterloo AIF


ExiaSR 1 / -  
Dec 1, 2014   #1
Hello, I'm working on the college application, and I need some help with the AIF. Due to my academic grade is not good enough(I only got around 93%), I really need a strong AIF to achieve my goal.

Can you guys please give me some suggestions or point out any grammar mistakes? That would be really helpful, thanks!!:)

Essay
Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo (*Required)
Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program.
(900 character limit)


The first time I got real introduction to computer science was in Grade 11 when my friend and I created a Robot Club. We began writing simple programs on Arduino which I really found attractive. From that point, we began learning C, java, php and python. In order to apply the knowledge we learn, we built project a snake robot, a drawing robot, a 3D printer, quodrotor, Android&IOS apps, server and so on. I am passionate about working on robotics and programming, and it brings me satisfaction and happiness, so I believe I will choose this as my career.

When I was looking for the universities in Canada which provide computer engineering, I found out that University of Waterloo is the leader of undergraduate computer engineering in Canada. It provides perfect student environment, the coop program, expert teachers, and multi-culture environment.

Briefly explain why you are interested in engineering and particularly in the program to which you have applied. Comment, for example, on your interests and abilities; your career goals; exposure to engineering through school-related and other experiences; and discussions you have had with engineers, teachers, current or past Waterloo students. (900 character limit)

One of my best friends, Mark who currently studies software engineering in Waterloo affects me a lot, and leads me to chose computer engineering as my major, shows me the magic that computer has. In Grade 10, Mark helped me to break through the bandwidth limit on Linux which is setup by the school server, and he explained how it worked. Obviously, I had no idea what he was talking about at that moment; however, this significant moment motivated me to learn more about computer.

In Grade 11, I started to have much stronger interest in code and robotic, and I created a Robotic Club with my best friends. We learned a lot of programming knowledge from online courses, such as, coursera, and edx. I wish to be a professional and advanced computer engineer in the future in order to achieve my dream and help others. Since computer is a field that constantly changing, I am willing to have lifelong study that can help me to achieve a successful career.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 2, 2014   #2
Michael, in my opinion, your response to the first essay prompt is not applicable to the question being asked. Your response should have been more along the lines of what you know about Waterloo as an educational institution that is similar to your educational goals. This means that you have to present your academic goals in relation to the values and objectives of Waterloo as a school. Those are the reasons why you chose to enroll or apply for acceptance at Waterloo. It has nothing to do with your grade school and high school experience and development of your interest in Computer Engineering. We need to talk about the reasons why you think Waterloo will best serve the purpose of teaching you how to be the best computer engineer that you can be.

Your response to the second prompt is even more problematic and very weak because you portrayed yourself as a clueless student who is only following the dictates and influences of your best friend, which are very bad reasons for choosing a college major because that means your rate of success will be almost null. Avoid any negative references to yourself and only discuss the development of your interest and exposure to your chosen field. It will not help your case to make the admissions officer think that you are only following in the footsteps of someone else in choosing your degree.


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