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'co-educational school'+'a classy but modest restaurant' Barnard Supplement


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Nov 8, 2011   #1
I need as much feedback as possible regarding these essays. Also quick question, is it appropriate to use an ellipsis in a college essay as I did for the second prompt? :/ Thanks in advance!

-What factors have influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College? What intrigues you about Barnard's approach to the liberal arts and sciences?

Having attended a co-educational school my entire life, I decided to take a different route for my last year of high school. I surprised myself by opting for an all-girls boarding school in a country I had never been to before. Nevertheless the rewards have been amazing. The support and motivation for success, the active classroom environment and the unrestrained relationship between both teachers and students definitely won me over in terms of my desire to attend a women's college. After spending hours on different websites and in different books, I concluded that Barnard College was a place I desired to be a part of. Its strong sense of community, its student-faculty ratio, its academic rigor as well as its location in a city that is a classroom in itself are all factors that are certain to help me thrive. Hoping to study architecture, I am confident that the liberal arts education offered at Barnard will adequately prepare me and also give me the chance to concurrently explore other fields.

-Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about?

In my mind, we would be sitting in a classy but modest restaurant. She would be seated across me in an elegant dress and a smile that genuinely encapsulated her positive and empathic personality and her admirable humility. She would converse with me as though we were friends. Or better yet, mother and daughter. No awkwardness and no uneasiness whatsoever. We would talk about the importance of humanitarian work, specifically regarding the HIV/AIDS pandemic, which I would have a lot of questions and advice to ask her about since she has spent a great deal of time trying to spread awareness about the disease and extending her compassion to its sufferers. She would talk to me about her sons and of the importance of love, affection and devotion in our world today. All this while, I would be seated across the table silently in awe of this remarkable woman. Yes, if only I had an hour to converse with Princess Diana..

-Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid.

I began my search for my new school, googling all sorts of criteria about the "dream" boarding school I was hopefully soon going to attend. With only two months left till the new school year, I made the unexpected decision to go to a boarding school in South Africa much to the disinclination of my parents.

Two months. By this time everybody must have received letters of admittance to any institutions they had applied to. Or better yet, already accepted their admission offers. Nobody was still applying to schools. I was about to begin. I had never been to South Africa before and all I had to base my decision on was my desire to take a risk. I had one more year of high school and many years of life ahead of me yet I was determined to seize the opportunity I had in front of me, and consequently declare my major in "unafraid".

-Community - educational, geographic, religious, political, ethnic, or other - can define an individual's experience and influence her journey. How has your community, as you identify it, shaped your perspective?

"What? You're from where? Where is that?"

Picture young children; about seven to sixteen years old. Dirty with their beautiful melanin-rich skin hidden under layers of Sahara sand and covered with scabs, barely dressed in rags and alarmingly thin. Running between cars at the traffic light "hustling" for as much money as possible. All day long.

This is where I am from. The large, landlocked semi-desert West African country deemed one of the poorest in the world. Although my roots lie in Mali I have never actually lived there on account of my father's job. I grew up living in different countries, both developed and developing, exposing me to different lifestyles. However, whether I was sitting at Schiphol Airport feasting on a McDonald's meal that I had waited a year to eat or comfortably sitting in a car on my way home from my private boarding school, I have always maintained the same attitude with me.

Being from Mali has instilled in me a perspective on life and the world that will stay with me forever. It has made me realize that the material things in life really do not matter and that no matter how bad I think my situation may be, someone, particularly in my own country, has it worse.


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