Please use this brief essay to help us get to know you beyond what is defined in your scholastic and extracurricular record. In 250 words or less, please respond to the following:
We honor the many different forms of diversity in our community. Your perspective is valuable because it comes from your life experiences, family backgrounds, and culture. Please tell us about yourself, how you plan to share your perspective with the Colgate Community, and what you hope to learn from other members of the community.
Although I haven't lived in Egypt for about half of my life, my mum kept the Egyptian spirit alive in me by teaching me about Egyptian traditions. When I tell people that I am Egyptian the first respond I get is that's cool, did you visit the pyramids? This used to annoy me, knowing that this is the only thing people know about Egypt, because there is much more to Egypt than that. But then I told myself that this is proportional to how much I know about their country so I sat a goal to myself to learn more about other cultures and this is how I enriched myself and became more mature.
"Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different style." This describes almost all my perspective on other people and cultures, to me people are like different books written by different authors the more I learn more the better I become. Team work inspires me to do better and work harder, growing up in a multicultural atmosphere has helped me feel comfortable in conveying my perspectives while respecting the principles and practices of other cultures. For this reason, other traditions and customs interest me, and I am looking forward to meeting people who have different cultural perspectives.
Colgate University's close-knit community will help me share my positive prospective and improve my skills; I hope I can do this by joining clubs and discussion groups.
tell me what do you think and please correct grammatical errors
I like the quote, and the reference to the pyramids, but I think you could connect your three paragraphs more fluidly. I would also elaborate on Colgate more, giving more specific reseasons, i.e. what clubs, classes, professors, etc. you believe would help you explore diversity more.
thanx but i have no idea how to connect the paragraphs can you give me an example..
i will check yours
hmm, maybe put the second paragraph first, and then put in a sentence like:
I wasn't always this way though. I used to get annoyed by the lame pyramid jokes that my Egyptian hertiage brought up, especially because Egypt is so much more than that.... (rest of your paragraph)
And then be like:
I believe attending Colgate would expand my horizons even more because of ... (insert exmples here)...
In my opinion you could change the quote into : In order to broaden my perspectives I started to engage in reading more.
