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Elaborating on Job Experience- Common Ap Short Answer


vkwang 7 / 16  
Dec 7, 2008   #1
please review, proofread, and critique this short answer. please and thank you! :D

When I accepted the job to be a mentor at Kumon, it had little significance on me. Not only did I think of it as a job for pay, but I had also detested the amounts of tedious paperwork. After my first month of working at Kumon, I realized that being a mentor was much more than meet the eye. I was not only teaching and educating children, I was also preparing them for a future with a strong educational background. Working at Kumon has also been an intellectual challenge. With children that had difficulties learning, I came up with effective methods and applied it to each individual in need. The experience that I have gained by teaching others has benefited me by furthering my thinking process and by approaching things in a different viewpoint.
volleyball09 11 / 12  
Dec 7, 2008   #2
Not only did I think of it as a job for pay, but I had also detested the amounts of tedious paperwork.

This sentence could use some corrections. I would re-word it by saying something like: "Not only did I view this job as merely a source of income, but also as a tedious job involving detested amounts of paperwork."

After my first month of working at Kumon, I realized that being a mentor was much more than meet the eye.

I would reword that by saying "...much more than what I had presumed it to be"

i think the rest is good.
i hope this helps :)
meltibbs 1 / 2  
Dec 7, 2008   #3
Great essay. Here are some of my thoughts.

"much more than met the eye"

I was working with children that had difficulties learning. I came up with effective methods to help teach them and applied it to each individual in need.
OP vkwang 7 / 16  
Dec 7, 2008   #4
thank you! i forgot to mention it has to be 150 words or fewer. after revisions, i have 149 words


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