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'The electricity in my toes and the tickle in my throat' "Why UChicago?" Short Answer

GraceDL 3 / 6  
Oct 10, 2012   #1
Hello! This is the "Why UChicago?" short answer. Any and all critiques are much appreciated! This is for Early Action (which is due by Nov. 1! Eek!).

It pumps through my veins; a rush of warmth that causes my cheeks to flush red. My heart hammers at the thought of it; a tiny tickle appears at the base of my throat. Anticipation wells in me from the rising hair on my head to the electricity in my toes. I love this part. It's the chance of discovery, of understanding and inventing. It's the feeling I get at the pinnacle of deep discussions and insightful musings, when my mind is as malleable as clay. That's when time slows down, the clock speeds up, and I find that the time flew by exactly when I wish it hadn't moved at all. To be frank, this is when I feel undoubtedly alive. To create such an atmosphere of pulsating energy by talking with people of different backgrounds and brain waves is mind-boggling. While I love the community of people that I can share this mutual feeling with right now, it's time for me to direct this current in a new direction. UChicago is the place where I can use my love of breakthroughs in ways that surpasses the realm of discussion and delves into the global community.

The eccentric way of looking at things and leaving answers open-ended instead of just "yes or no" is what I'm looking for. UChicago is about coming to your own conclusions and challenging the established paradigm. It's about observing, theorizing, and testing, knowing that getting it wrong is a possibility, failure is always an option, and the only thing to do is "it again". Research on the undergraduate level is something I'm itching to dig into, and participating in the URIP is an ambition of mine. The stimulating and thought-provoking classes and Core curriculum are bar-none valuable experiences that will prepare me for my studies and future destinations. I need an environment that is all-consuming; I crave the surroundings that devour me into a community where superlatives are disregarded and what really counts is substance. It's the enticement of unchartered territory and discovery that draws me in. The electricity in my toes and the tickle in my throat is what I like so much about the University of Chicago.

ErinEmott 1 / 2  
Oct 11, 2012   #2
"it's time for me to direct this current in a new direction" sounds odd, maybe something like "redirect this current" would be better?

Also, I know what you're saying by "and the only thing to do is "it again"", but the wording could surely be better.

You're a great writer, your wording is precise and you've made good use of your vocabulary.
Two thumbs up!

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