I am pretty happy with how my essay has turned out, but I would like a few more eyes to read over the paper and see if it needs any revisions. Thank you for your help!
Prompt #4: Describe a place where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
When I walk through the threshold of this room, I am immediately drawn back by the myriad of items scattered throughout the premises. Drums, mallets, and bells line the back wall like a drum line marching in a parade. Chairs and music stands are aligned in curved rows with a great amount of precision and detail. The lockers on the wall are filled with instruments lying in their cases, patiently waiting to be played by musically inclined students. Tables throughout the room are piled high with classical, modern, and contemporary styles of sheet music, some piles reaching three feet in height. This is where art is created, where music flows through my veins and makes my heart beat to the rhythm of a song. This is where I uncontrollably shiver when the music reaches the climax of a melody, where like-minded students can join together through harmony and passion for music.
It's the truth, my high school band room provides me with a place where I feel perfectly content. No, it's not a traditional teenage sanctuary, but I am not a normal teen; I don't fit the mold many others choose to follow. I don't listen to the music of Eminem, Taylor Swift, or Lady Gaga. I'd rather spend my nights lost in the sounds of Mozart, Holst, Hanz, and Whitacre, listening in complete awe to the talent and skill needed to create sonorous music rendered from the black dots and lines on a single piece of paper.
The band room has always been a sanctuary for me, a constant in my life where I find solace. In this special room, I discovered the beauty and tranquility of creating music. In that moment, I knew I had found something I could use to help me get through the tough demands of school and life. Sitting in my chair in the band room, I feel most at peace with myself and the world. Playing my clarinet provides a time where I can relieve all the stresses of the day, each one released as the notes leave my clarinet. With each rhythm, I get more and more lost in the music. I forget the demands everything I have to accomplish that day and I can just focus on that one task. It might sound crazy to some, but I feel that music has helped me get through so much in my life, in a different way than any human could help.
The element I endear most about the band room is that there are no set rules to follow. I can make my own interpretations and still be correct, and no other class allows this freedom. It's where I am allowed to express myself in ways that other classes don't provide. In unity, students join together in one room for forty minutes a day, where no one is an outcast and everyone has the same appreciation for art. I feel like I belong, which is hard to say in high school when all you try to do is fit in. Labeled a "band nerd" long ago, I now cherish the title.
This is where art is created, where music flows through my veins and making my heart beat to the rhythm of a song.
I forget the demands everything I have to accomplish that day and I can just focus on that one task.
Sounds a little funnyIt might sound crazy to some, but I feel
as though? music has helped me get through so much in my life, in a different way than
no human could?I think it's very good. However, I do have to say that I would have loved it if you could have made me feel what you felt while you were in the band room. I think an essay stands out the most if you can get the reader raped up in your emotions. Hopefully others will chime in and give you more advice. It's a great essay over all =]
