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"Elizabeth C. Stanton; men=women" - bringing any person, NYU Supplement


consyt 2 / 8  
Dec 5, 2010   #1
hello everyone
im new to this so i hope im posting in the correct place.

the question is as follows:
If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

big problem: it has to be 500 characters or less, so i feel like i cant say all i want to say.

anyways here is what i have so far. i want to make it less boring, i think it sounds plain.

During the 1848 Seneca Falls convention for women's rights, Elizabeth C. Stanton proclaimed that all men and women were created equally and because of her proposal women were granted voting rights. I would bring Mrs. Stanton here to Florida to show her all the great things the women of today are doing; discrimination based on gender no longer occurs. She will be very pleased to see the political progress women are making, not only can women vote; they can fill government positions as well.

thank you.
coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 5, 2010   #2
You didn't explain why you want to meet her or why she's inspired you. The point of the prompt is to find out more about you, not the person you want to have dinner with or whatever.
wooleyj 4 / 17  
Dec 5, 2010   #3
Don't bother explaining who she was because the people reading the essays will know who she is. Thus, you will have more space. You can say "Elizabeth C. Stanton, a suffragette...." (i chose her because...)
OP consyt 2 / 8  
Dec 5, 2010   #4
thank you !
OP consyt 2 / 8  
Dec 5, 2010   #5
I dont know if this start is a little better or worse...

Elizabeth C. Stanton really inspired me with all the work she did as a suffragette; because of her proposal women were given voting rights, and for this, I am very thankful. I would bring Mrs. Stanton here to Florida to show her all the great things the women of today are doing; discrimination based on gender no longer occurs. She will be very pleased to see the political progress women are making, not only can women vote; they can fill government positions as well.

the wording in the fist sentence sounds a bit funny?

also i want to go into politics so should i try to add that in?
coeurreign 2 / 45  
Dec 5, 2010   #6
Elizabeth C. Stanton really inspired me with all the work she did as a suffragette because of her proposal women were given voting rights; I am very thankful for this. I would bring Mrs. Stanton here to Florida to show her all the great things the women of today are doing as discrimination based on gender no longer occurs. She will be very pleased to see the political progress women are making, not only can women vote, but they can fill government positions as well.

Well, those are the corrections. But I still think that you aren't talking enough about yourself. Yes, she's helped women rights, but you still haven't explained why she, out of everyone who has helped women's rights, is the person you want to have dinner with. You haven't given any detail about how Stanton has inspired you personally. Anyways, I think that you should add in your political aspirations, maybe make a connection to Stanton and her own political thoughts.
OP consyt 2 / 8  
Dec 5, 2010   #7
should i say granted voting rights instead of given?
hahoonh 4 / 12  
Dec 6, 2010   #8
hey consyt, as long as you can convey your idea to the adcom, you should not really worry about which word is better. I guess granted and given are equally suitable, but if i were you, i would use granted :)
gradbound2011 1 / 3  
Dec 6, 2010   #9
Yes... It is more important to show why you would want to meet her rather than who she is. For example, a suggestion would be to bring her to a museum and show her all of the things women have accomplished throughout history. Good luck!
OP consyt 2 / 8  
Dec 6, 2010   #10
thanks everyone :)


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