Elvis is one of my role models;UC - personal quality,talent,accomplishment,contribution

"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. Ain't nowhere else in the world where you go from driving a truck to cadillac overnight.-Elvis Presley

Elvis is one of my role models and it has got nothing to do with his music. He was passionate about his ambition and so am I. Now I may not be the Einstein of tomorrow nor am I expecting to bag any Olympics or Oscars but this absence of any extraordinary talents only increases the severity of my ambition. Now you may be wondering, "Okay, this guy seems pretty ambitious but what is he ambitious about." Well I shall answer that at the very end.

The fact that I'm ambitious is an essential part of my life. It has taught me that short cuts do not exist and that the only way to accomplish your goals is through hard work and selfless devotion. I have studied in India's elite school and I was naturally surrounded by talented people. If not for my ambitious nature, the flamboyant personalities of my schoolmates would have overwhelmed me and eventually I would have started doubting my own credibility. This is when I realized that to have the will, the dream and the courage to be on the top of the world will get you a lot farther in life than any skill you can possibly possess.

Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. Ambition requires sacrifice for the sake of having the life you wish to attain. My life in Mumbai was distracting me from my studies and it had a negative impact on it. I took the decision to leave Mumbai and shift 2000 miles away to Patna so that I could concentrate and do away with such aberrations. I also started home schooling because the school's curriculum was not proving to be challenging enough and that was preventing me from running in my top gear. I took these steps because my ambition was better than my need to have a good time. It makes me proud as it brought about a positive change in my life.

My grandfather died when my father was only eleven years old and that put a financial strain on his family that was already struggling to make ends meet. Against all odds he emerged successful and is currently a commissioner at the Indian Revenue Services Department. He has inspired me and motivated me throughout my life. He is the best man I know and my ambition is to become the best man he knows.

Please feel to improve upon any aspect.
My friend told me that i should be very formal while writing it, is he right?

I just wanted to reply to your question about the essay being formal, I think it should be semi casual since you are writing about someone you look up to, a role model. I think it should feel kind of familiar and not so proper like your friend says.