Hi all! I am applying for an internship through the Washinton Internship Institute, for a 12 week program in DC interning in one of their many embassies. This is actually what I want to do for a living (be an embassy attorney) but could use some help with my personal statement, and thank you so very much in advance! The question is this:
Please describe the type of internship you would enjoy. Be as specific as possible. If you are accepted into the program, we will contact you to discuss internship possibilities in detail. You may want to consider these questions as you answer:
- What do you hope to gain and learn during the internship?
- What are your interests and passions?
This is my response (feel free to critique me here-- I know it stands for some):
I am applying for a summer of 2010 internship, and would like to intern from May through July at a participating embassy agency, preferably the Embassy of Jordan or the Embassy of Croatia. It is my hope that this internship will give me the tools I need to be successful in my field, prepare me for my law school career, and enhance the motivations and skills I already possess.
Currently attending Bethel College, I am pursuing a Bachelor's Degree in both Criminal Justice and Humanities. I plan to use these degrees, and this internship, as the building blocks needed to create a foundation for law school. I would like to be an international attorney for one of the United States' many embassies, focusing on the political unrest, human violations, and poverty centralized in the mid-east and Africa.
This internship will allow me the opportunity to observe the inner workings of the Embassy setting, and will provide a network of advisors, students, and peers from which to grow and learn. Since quite a few law schools offer class flexibility, this internship will also assist me in selecting the most career-enhancing classes available. I believe this internship will give me the edge needed to be accepted into one of the nation's top ten law schools.
I have worked at the South Bend Center for the Homeless for sixteen months and I love what I do, despite the knowledge that I live and serve in one of the most poverty-stricken counties in the nation. The United States Department of Labor has ranked Elkhart as the eighth most unemployed metropolitan area in the US. Elkhart's unemployment rate averages 16.8%; roughly 1.7% times the national median. This hard-hit city has filtered into the surrounding areas; our county is slowly growing more and more unemployed. Recession is not just a word where I live- it is a way of life.
My thoughts concerning the recession, and experience working with those hardest hit, have left me contemplating global poverty and governmental issues as a collective. Even during this recession, the United States still has enough government funding to assist its homeless, unemployed, and uninsured citizens. Quite a few third world countries including Darfur and the Republic of the Congo do not have this luxury. These countries struggle to support their sick and wounded; the luxuries we have as a country- such as the financial ability to assist its homeless citizens- is close to nonexistent. My experience with our own country's poverty-stricken population has instilled within me the passion to assist those in need, both in our country and overseas, as well as the inability to defer the responsibility to another single person.
I am hoping this internship will challenge my beliefs regarding foreign policy, global issues, and human rights. I want to aid the United States as it assists other countries' current problems and affairs. I would like the inspiration to do better for myself, my family, and my nation. I would like these convictions to remain with me through law school so that I may grow with what I have learned and come back to the embassy setting as a better-rounded person ready to serve on behalf of my country.
This internship holds many possibilities, the greatest of which I will not learn until I have been accepted into the Washington Internship Institute's 2010 summer internship at our nation's capitol.
This is looking great, but the first thing I thought of while reading it was that if you make your second paragraph the first one, it would make a great attention grabbing opening. Of course, you don't need to do this, just an idea.
I plan to use these degrees and this internship to build a foundation for the study of law.
This hard-hit city has filtered into the surrounding areas; our county is slowly growing more and more unemployed. (This should be checked for clarity.)
This might sound better if you change where it says, 'I would like' the second time to something else, or possibly combine these two sentences into one. I would like the inspiration to do better for myself, my family, and my nation. I would like...
Here is an idea I had:
It is my hope that this internship will provide the tools I need to be successful in my field, prepare me for my law school career, and enhance the motivation and skills I already possess.
It looks like they'll be lucky to have you!