UC prompt 2 - Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you
The subject of English has eluded me from the moment of its introduction. There are a million ways to be right and wrong at the same, and consequently, English has always felt like a game of chance. I coped by writing with my gut and abandoning any form of structure taught, especially, since every year, I was taught something new. It just happened to be that the teachers from the past 15 years liked what I wrote and I never bothered to change my approach or style. If everyone were happy, then why would I need to?
That was the thinking before I met Ms. M in sophomore English class. She certainly made it clear that my methods, or lack thereof, would do no good her class. I needed to adapt, to organize myself, and to use more than my gut. She made us analyze the analysis and taught us to connect the whole picture. I didn't just learn how to write essays about books, but rather, I learned to express myself in a concise way that also produced a meaningful message that my audience could take away from.
The books I was forced to read made me question my beliefs about the world. Suddenly, there was no one right answer. Everyone had a different viewpoint; they came from a different side of the argument. How could George kill his best friend Lenny? Are we inherently evil? Why did the noble Othello fall so easily to a scumbag like Iago? Doing what was right did not mean justice was achieved, and the best of men become the worst of villains. I felt like a person who had just seen the sun for the first time. My foundations of English were barely standing as I tried to find some structure and support in my writing.
For me to succeed in Ms. M's class, I had to shed my innocence and delve into the hypocrisy that I had always despised. The books were like bridges to the real world, a world my siblings and parents often protected me from. It was painful and disorientating, but this shedding of innocence was not just about facing the hypocrisy and evils but also about obtaining the ability to hope when all odds are against you, whether you are in a classroom or battlefield.
Ms. M taught me to appreciate the beauty of subtle context, how one line can be explicated through a whole paragraph. For what I learned and the life long friends I gained in that torturous English class, it was worth the stress and anxiety. I suppose the beauty of English and the world lied in its ambiguity, how one object can have such different meanings for everyone. Next time I face a class that has shaken my foundations and leaves my mind in utter chaos, which I undoubtedly believe will occur, I will be prepared to persevere and work tirelessly to achieve my goal because it has certainly never failed me before.
After that long, arduous year in Ms. M's class, I stepped away from pouring my soul over academics. I wanted to be a part of this imperfect world. The classroom could never replace the real world in terms of experience although Ms. M was not too far off. I joined service clubs that served the underprivileged and started volunteering at a convalescent hospital. Instead of shying away from the uncertainty of the world, as I always had before, I am eager to explore and experience the hardships that are to come because I want to become more than I am today.
Thanks for reading!
A few things:
I coped by writing with my gut-- To say you coped, you must refer to stress or something hard... maybe use a different word than coped.
If everyone were happy, then why would I need to? This statement is confusing. Add the word change at the end.
She made us analyze the analysis and taught us to connect the whole picture. Don't use analyze and analysis together in a sentence, it sounds redundant.
I didn't just learn how to write essays about books, but rather, I learned to express myself in a concise way that also produced a meaningful message that my audience could take away from. Re-word this sentence. Don't end it in "from"
It was painful and disorientating, but this shedding of innocence was not just about facing the hypocrisy and evils but also about obtaining the ability to hope when all odds are against you, whether you are in a classroom or battlefield. I understand what you are saying, and you are trying to connect your writing struggles to the stories you read. However, you sound a little over-dramatic.
You have a great writing style and an interesting story, continue to work on your grammar. Good luck in school!
thank you so much! I know my grammar is just horrid =(
Here are the changes I made if you want to know:
I muddled through by writing with my gut and abandoning any form of structure taught
She trained us to dissect every word of the story and to connect the whole picture. Using the lessons Ms. M taught, I learned to express myself in a concise way that also produced a meaningful message for my audience.
It was painful and disorientating, but this step into maturity was not just about facing the hypocrisy of the real world but also about persevering and struggling to succeed in such a demanding environment. ------- Thanks for the comment about dramatics because I know I tend to do that sometimes.
Hope these are good revisions. Any other suggestions please?
