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Emerson College Supplement- Life Title


tanner328 2 / 7  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
We understand that the college application process often feels stressful, when instead it should be an opportunity for self-reflection. Stop worrying for a minute and have fun with this response.

Much of the work that students do at Emerson College is a form of storytelling. If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why? Please be brief (100-200 words).

" 'Err... Uh... Ah... Okay', And Other Successful Interactions with Human Beings"

I am what one might call socially awkward. I can communicate freely and openly with large groups of people, or easily persuade with written words, but when I'm one on one with someone I'm not familiar with, my mouth shuts up like Fort Knox. The thought of calling a customer service representative or enduring a job interview is nightmarish for me. Maybe it's just awkward youth or self-consciousness, but my mission to dodge uncomfortable small talk has an immeasurable impact on my personality.

While my social discomfort certainly has its downsides, such as low romantic success and difficulty acquiring friends, there are some hidden benefits. For instance, my fear of talking means I almost never say the wrong thing. Additionally, it's given me an uncanny ability to abandon ship when Aunt Martha comes over for a chat at the family reunion.

Although my social awkwardness continually improves, I'll never forget the fun times it has given me when I theoretically grow up and become awesome. It's an important part of what makes me unique, and it's an interesting challenge to overcome. And for every failed attempt at flirting, there's a confused retail employee who thinks I don't speak English, and that's okay with me.

I'm a little concerned that it's way too informal, although Emerson is a pretty unique school. Any suggestions you have are greatly appreciated! Thanks!
ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
Tanner

I think the formality of the essay is neither here nor there since the prompt said stop worrying and have fun! Plus I actually think your essay is a nice blend of humour, candidness and personality and I quite rather like it.

And other successful interactions with human beings > was that a joke, I don't know if I'm over-interpreting this line or what, but if it was indeed supposed to be a humourous element, I believe it was a masterful attention grabber.

but when I'm one on one with someone I'm not familiar with, my mouth shuts up like Fort Knox.

Suggestion: but in one on one situations with someone unfamiliar: my mouth shuts up like Fort Knox.
Shuts up still sounds a tad bit off, so maybe if you can find another phrase to replace it with.

The thought of calling a customer service representative or enduring a job interview is nightmarish for me.

Although your being brutally honest here, this might not be too appropriate to say considering colleges are looking for strong and independent leaders. So maybe tone it down or add that although it was a nerve-wracking experience, you rose to the challenge whenever you had to...or something to that extent.

and that's okay with me

Suggestion: and I would not have it any other way.
Okay's a bit flat.

Hope this helps & I would love it if you took a look at any of my essays. I really liked yours & Thanks!


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