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"Emory's culture and my character" - why Emory?


lizlu1130 1 / 1  
Jan 11, 2011   #1
hey guys, the Emory deadline is coming, would anyone help me with my essay? thank you very much!

Many students decide to apply to Emory College based on our size, location, reputation, and yes, the weather. Besides these valid reasons for making Emory College a possible college choice, why is Emory College a particularly good match for you?(250 words)

The links between Emory's culture and my character make me feel that Emory is my second home. I was first attracted by the caring and helping atmosphere of Emory. Not only does the school eager to offer all kinds of supports for students with different backgrounds, but also do the students participate in Volunteer Emory to give back to the community. I think this giving spirit perfectly fits my personality. I grew up with a caring heart which taught me to help others whenever I could. I helped my peers solve friendship and study issues by giving advice. I also helped some local orphans get out of misery by communicating with them heart to heart. Thus, I am willing to become one of the students and add to the helping environment on campus. Emory also fascinates me by her excellency in cultivating future leaders. In the past three years, I served as the class monitor. During my tenure, I was in charge of organizing all kinds of activities from class meeting to excursion. All these experiences helped to equip me with the strong leadership ability, but I still got so much to learn. By studying in Emory, I wish to further develop this ability and finally become the elite leader in my specialty. Therefore, I believe Emory University is the best place where I can explore the most of me.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 13, 2011   #2
Not only does the school eagerly offer all kinds of supports for students with different backgrounds, but also do the students participate in Volunteer Emory to give back to the community.

I think this giving spirit perfectly fits my personality. I grew up with a caring heart which taught me to help others whenever I could. (let's cut this sentence and choose to "show, not tell")

I helped my peers solve friendship and study issues by giving advice. I also helped some local orphans get out of misery by communicating with them heart-to-heart. ---Awesome! We need more people like you. I added some hyphens to heart-to-heart.

Let's add s here: from class meetings to excursions.

All these experiences helped to equip me with the strong leadership ability, but I still got have so much to learn.
:-)
OP lizlu1130 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2011   #3
thank you very much, Kevin! my essay does look better with your modifications.
i really appreciate your help~


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