Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 9

"The end depends on the beginning" - short & long term career goals


imshtark 1 / 9  
Jun 22, 2010   #1
I'm applying to a university and they require an essay between 500-100 words. I've never written an admission essay before so I am completely stuck. PLEASE HELP ASAP because the deadline is fast approaching.

Here are the points that need to be addressed:
- What are my learning needs? What are the skills and competencies I want to develop?
- What are my career goals? What does that look like short-term and long-term?
- How will this degree program enable me to meet the needs and goals I've identified?

Here we go:

"Finis origine pendet," the Roman poet Manlius wrote. "The end depends on the beginning." Success in life greatly depends on the how we are reared, and a major part of that is our education. College is one of the most integral parts of the education process, where a person gains priceless knowledge and wisdom which will guide him throughout his life. In earlier times anyone with a good head on their shoulders was able to successfully enter the business world without much difficulty. Even now, some clever people manage to develop exceptional careers and established lives without ever receiving post high school education. However, as the business world grows more and more complex, the chance of doing well in business, without a college education, diminishes rapidly.

As I reflect upon my plans for the future, I consider the tools that are needed to achieve my goals. I wish to gain a broad-based perspective on business, and an understanding of the applications of key concepts required in the business world. These essential skills are needed to succeed in the dynamic business world we live in. I also wish to obtain the leadership skills, insight, and the self-confidence required to meet the demands of real business situations. I also intend on to develop strong management and practical skills that will help me advance my leadership potential.

Given the combination of my personal and professional interests, my goal is to obtain a bachelor's degree in management from Johns Hopkins Carey Business School. I am currently a student at the Ner Israel Rabbinical College and many of my peers have experienced success with programs similar to those I am pursuing. After receiving my bachelor's degree, I hope to further advance my career opportunities by pursuing a master's degree. Once I have gathered enough experience and skills, I plan to launch a consulting company of my own. The ultimate goal of my career is to be able to vitalize the potential in me and prepare me to face the reality of life. I aspire to be an upstanding and patriotic citizen of my home country, the United States of America.

There are a myriad of reasons why Johns Hopkins Carey Business School is right for me. First of all the curriculum method of teaching, which Johns Hopkins Carey Business School utilizes, will undoubtedly work very well for me. A second advantage that Johns Hopkins Carey Business School presents is their flexible schedule. The schedule is especially convenient for me, as it allows me to have a full day of study at Ner Israel Rabbinical College while taking night classes at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School. Another advantage that Johns Hopkins Carey business school possesses is the amount of resources available to its students. An added advantage that Johns Hopkins Carey Business School intrinsically boasts is the highly reputable Johns Hopkins name. This certainly draws attention from any potential employers and clients.

Education is a critical part to a person's future. The difference between succeeding and failing can easily be the education received. With so many reasons compelling me to attend Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, the choice seems obvious. I believe that the degree program Johns Hopkins Carey Business School offers is an ideal opportunity to take a major step forward towards my goals.

I don't know where I'm going with this! Any help will be appreciated greatly.

vaishali1980 26 / 83  
Jun 22, 2010   #2
Good starts. After that you can add your past education and needs further study.
linmark 2 / 328 7  
Jun 23, 2010   #3
This is an admissions essay. You don't need to spend a paragraph on the importance (and your need) of a university education. Instead, answer why do you want a business education at this particular institution. Is there a specific area of business specialization you have identified that you want to pursue? Then you can introduce some "whys" (short and long-term goals.)

"Finis origine pendet," but it helps to begin with the end in mind.
OP imshtark 1 / 9  
Jun 23, 2010   #4
Okay, I continued my essay, but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of grammar and punctuation errors. If someone can help me with sentence structure I would really appreciate it. Any help helps, so don't hesitate.

PLEASE HELP
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Jun 23, 2010   #5
... and many of my peers have experienced much success with programs similar to those I am pursuing.

After receiving my bachelor's degree, I hope to further advance my career opportunities by pursuing a master's degree.

"Finis origine pendet," the Roman poet Manlius wrote. "The end depends on the beginning." Success in life greatly depends on the how we are reared, and a major part of that is our education.

Attending college is an integral part of the education process. There was a time when someone with a good head on their shoulders was able to enter the business world without much difficulty.

I also wish to obtain leadership skills, insight, and the self-confidence required to meet the demands of real bu siness situations.

I also intend todevelop strong management skills and practical skills that will help me advance my leadership potential.

The ultimate goal of my career is to be able to vitalize the potential in me and prepare me...
OP imshtark 1 / 9  
Jun 23, 2010   #6
Please help me finish this beast. It needs to be proofread. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
nunuyashi - / 1  
Jun 24, 2010   #7
imshtark

"Finis origine pendet," wrote the insightfulthe Roman poet Manlius wrote .

Success in life greatly depends on the how weway one isare reared, and a major part of that is ourone's education.

In earlier times anyone with a good head on theirhis or her shoulders was able to successfully enter the business world without much difficulty. Even now, some clever people manage to develop exceptional careers and established livesreach their financial goals without ever receiving any sort of post high school education. However, as the business world grows more and more complex, as well as competetive the chance of doing well in business...

... and an understanding of the applications of key concepts required in the lucrative business world.

I also intend on to developto cultivate strong management and practical skills ...

The ultimate goal of my career is to be able to vitalize the potential in mewithin myself and prepare memyself to face the realityrealities of life.

An added advantage thatFinally, Johns Hopkins Carey Business School also intrinsically and proudlyboasts isbears the highly reputable Johns Hopkins name.

Seems pretty good! Im not sure how my corrections came out because I have never used this website and Im not really sure what Im doing. Good luck!
OP imshtark 1 / 9  
Jun 24, 2010   #8
Thank you so much to everyone who helped me out! If you need corrections with something let me know and I'll do my best to help you out.
Moni09 3 / 4  
Jun 25, 2010   #9
alright, i like the essay, but i do not feel much emotion. admissions officers want to feela connection with you, they read hundreds of these each day; what will make yours stand out, besides the begginning in roman. make them feel as if they have known you for a while and comftorable because if writing for the same reason:) I hope this helps


Home / Undergraduate / "The end depends on the beginning" - short & long term career goals