Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Over the past few years, not only have I grown physically, but grown to be more tolerant and goal-driven. I embarked on a foreign land late in my teens, influenced by my will to succeed in life. It was during my first year in junior high, when I got infatuated about studying abroad. In my own perspective, I started to view Korean education as a process of memorization, circumscribing and limiting my full potential. I disliked not only the standardized system of education, but also the enforcement of passive and elusive thinking. Majority of the students had indifference toward such education, but I wanted a liberal education, where self-exploration and free expression are valued. Therefore, I had a serious conversation with my father whom I respected for all the adversities he overcame to make his IT company be listed on KOSDAQ. His advice and direction were critical in formulating my decision to study abroad, and he told me that mistakes and failures were part of the equation for future success.
His full endorsement and encouragement lead me to make the transition to Canada in 1 month. Back then, my innocent and inexperienced self did not know the true meaning of suffering and hardship. When I entered the Canadian School, not only was I excited about studying in a place where I had never been, but eager to fulfill my goals; first goal being accepted to a university that will ensure my future. However, unsolvable problems started to overwhelm me one by one. No one spoke any Korean to help me with the basic needs and foreign students seemed ignorant and indifferent to any of the sign languages given to communicate with them. I eventually became isolated from school and society. The hardest part about living day by day was not the workload from school, but the isolation and indifference from teachers, students and relatives. After bearing the isolation for one year, I called my father earnestly to discuss about my dilemma, and he immediately suggested me to come back to Korea to attend an International school.
I appreciated living in a place where I was familiar with, but different hardship had to be tackled as I entered International school in Korea. Since I had only been to a foreign land for one year, I lacked the fundamentals of speaking and writing in english. English was a primary language for many students in the school, and their PSAT scores were nearly perfect. In order to compete with them, I had to memorize five hundred words per day, repeatedly for the last three years. These words traveled around everywhere I went, to the bathroom, bus, subway, until I was able to utilize them in my daily life. Eventually, the memorization of words made me to overcome the intellectual gap between me and the other students. In addition, as I accomplished this achievement, not only my writing skills improved, but also my communication skills escalated.
However, among all these accomplishments, the most important fulfillment that I made was finding my distinct path, a path that would lead me to success. Back in the past few years, I did not know the true purpose of enduring particular pains, and I easily renounced to do things that I had to suffer. But by realizing my true dream, becoming a IT CEO, my personality and my posture started to change. I began to think and act differently toward hardships. My ignorant and depressive thinking toward any adversities changed into cheerful and optimistic mind, and my passive and dispassionate behaviors toward them shifted into vivacious actions. From now on, I will never give up on any adversities, hardship and sufferings, to become what I want be, just like what my father have achieved.
Any advice appreciated :)
Over the past few years, not only have I grown physically, but grown to be more tolerant and goal-driven. I embarked on a foreign land late in my teens, influenced by my will to succeed in life. It was during my first year in junior high, when I got infatuated about studying abroad. In my own perspective, I started to view Korean education as a process of memorization, circumscribing and limiting my full potential. I disliked not only the standardized system of education, but also the enforcement of passive and elusive thinking. Majority of the students had indifference are indifferent, toward such an education, but I wanted a liberal education, where self-exploration and free expression are valued. Therefore, I had a serious conversation with my father whom I respected for all the adversities he overcame to make his IT company be listed on KOSDAQ.you may elaborate on what it is His advice and direction were critical in formulating my decision to study abroad, and he told me that mistakes and failures were part of the equation for future success.
His full endorsement and encouragement lead me to make the transition to Canada in 1[/s one month. Back then, my innocent and inexperienced self did not know the true meaning of suffering and imminent obstacles and hardship. When I entered the Canadian School, not only was I excited about studying in a place where I had never been, but eager to fulfill my goals; first goal being accepted to a university that will ensure my future. However, unsolvable problems started to overwhelm me one by one. No one spoke any Korean to help me with the basic needs and foreign students seemed ignorant and indifferent to any of the sign languages given to communicate with them. I eventually became isolated from school and society. The hardest part about living day by day was not the workload from school, but the isolation and indifference from teachers, students and relatives. After bearing the isolation for one year, I called my father earnestly to discuss about my dilemma situations, and he immediately suggested me to come back to Korea to attend an International school.
I appreciated living in a place where I was familiar with, but different hardship had to be again tackled as I entered International school in Korea. Since I had only been to a foreign land for one year, I lacked the fundamentals knowledge of speaking and writing in E nglish. English was a primary language for many students in the school, and their PSAT scores were nearly perfect. In order to compete with them, I had to memorize five hundred words per day, repeatedly for the last three years. These words traveled around everywhere I went, to the bathroom, bus, subway, until I was able to utilize them in my daily life. Eventually, the memorization of words made me to overcome the intellectual gap between me and the other students the other students and me. In addition, as I accomplished this achievement, not only my writing skills improved, but also my communication skills escalated . I mean your syntax pretty much doesn't change (you used to much "not only...but also")
However, among all these accomplishments, the most important fulfillment that I made was finding my distinct path, a path that would lead me to success. Back in the past few years, I did not know the true purpose of enduring particular pains, and I easily renounced to do things that I had to suffer. But by realizing my true dream, becoming a IT CEO, my personality and my posture started to change. I began to think and act differently toward hardships. My ignorant and depressive thinking toward any adversities changed into cheerful and optimistic mind, and my passive and dispassionate behaviors toward them shifted into vivacious actions. From now on, I will never give up on any adversities, hardship and sufferings, to become what I want be, just like what my father have achieved.
You are using too many big words; I mean sometimes those big words may backfire during the admission process. Simple words can always convey the same meanings too
Your hardship is apparently evident, and you may "tell" more. "Show, don't tell"
But you've done a good job anyway
