PROMPT:
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
ESSAY:
John D. Rockefeller established Standard Oil in 1870 - the world's largest oil refiner. Although byproducts of oil had been in use previously, Rockefeller's integration of production, transportation, refining, and marketing brought oil to the forefront of American business. In the 140 years since, the influence of oil has come to permeate every facet of our global society; it moves us, it keeps us warm, and it allows for the production of almost all of our goods. Oil has been influential in the growth of our nation into a superpower. There is just one problem. We're hooked. America's dependence on oil, mainly from foreign suppliers, threatens our national security, takes away control of our economy, puts our health at risk, and stifles our capacity for innovation. My generation has a responsibility to ensure that future Americans have a safe, clean, reliable, and efficient means of renewable energy to power their world.
According to the CIA World Factbook (2009), the United States is the world's third largest producer of crude oil; we produce nine million barrels per day (bbl/day). Not bad, right? Unfortunately, not to be outdone, the US is the world's leading oil consumer as well. For every barrel that we produce, we consume two - or about 19 million bbl/day (CIA, 2009). In 2008, the US Energy Information Administration reported that the US imports 46% of its petroleum supply from OPEC members, which mainly consist of Middle Eastern states. The largest among these suppliers is Saudi Arabia; home to 15 of the 19 September 11 hijackers, Saudi Arabia also financially supports fundamentalist madrasas throughout Pakistan and Afghanistan ("Three Cups of Tea," 2006). Although there is no official paper trail, a steady supply of US capital to a region with a history of aiding those who seek to destroy us is, for lack of a better word, stupid.
While the security threats posed by a dependence on foreign oil are self evident, our addiction has already proven its ability to constrict our economy and impact our daily lives. Almost 37 years ago to the day, the neighboring countries of Israel launched a surprise attack against the Jewish state on Yom Kippur, the most holy day of the year. At the onset of the Yom Kippur war, most countries, fearing an oil embargo from the Arab nations, refused to resupply the Israeli military. The US, however, has always been the strongest international supporter of Israel. President Truman was the first to recognize the legitimacy of the state of Israel in 1948, and President Nixon would decide to send 2.2 billion dollars to aide Israel in 1973. In response to the US decision, the Organization of Arab Petroleum Exporting Countries enacted its embargo - oil prices rose by 70% and production was cut by 25% (The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money, and Power," 1990). To cope with the energy crisis, rations were placed on gasoline, stations were given daily selling limits, and the auto industry had to completely change the way it built cars. Gone were the days of the almighty muscle car, replaced by long lines at the pump and four cylinder abominations.
Although the US learned from the 1973 energy crisis and made attempts, such as the National Energy Act of 1978, to facilitate energy independence, it was not enough. The 80s and 90s saw a resurgence of bigger engines and the birth of the SUV. As consumer demand increased along with the desire for energy independence, we began to engage in riskier oil refining practices closer to home. To show for these practices, the Gulf of Mexico has suffered the largest accidental oil spill in history, Prince William Sound has yet to fully recover from the Exxon Valdez spill, and communities throughout America live with the negative health effects of nearby refining complexes. A stretch of the Mississippi River in Louisiana has been dubbed "cancer alley" due to the abnormally high incidence of various cancers and infertility in the area; there are reported to be more than 150 refineries in the 100 miles that make up cancer alley ("Fuel," 2008).
Despite our current situation, it is not too late to implement the necessary changes. Resulting from the recent bailouts of big business, we have seen American auto-makers begin to produce smaller, more fuel efficient cars. This is just one piece of the puzzle, though; to solve the problems at hand, one must look at the big picture. Commercial transportation, for example, runs almost exclusively on diesel fuel ("Fuel," 2008). Virtually all of these engines require no modification to operate on bio-diesels, a renewable fuel source. The US must also seek solutions at the international level; in Israel, almost every household uses a solar-powered water heating system. The answers are out there.
I know it to be true that we do not lack the technology, nor the ingenuity, to do what we must. In 1962, President John F. Kennedy challenged the American people to put a man on the moon. He said, "But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas? -- we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." We made it to the moon; now, it is time to do the other things with the same approach and mentality that Kennedy spoke of. To achieve real progress, we, as a society, need to adopt a new awareness regarding the future of energy. It is our responsibility.
Works Cited:
Central Intelligence Agency (2009). United States: Economy Overview. CIA World Factbook.
Mortenson, G. (2007). Three Cups of Tea
New York: Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Reitman, G. (Producer), & Tickell, J. (Director). (2008). Fuel
Motion Picture. United States: Green Planet Productions
Yergin, D. (1990). The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money, and Power
New York: Simon & Schuster Inc.
I think you need periods:
U.S.
Yeah, and if it appears at the end of a sentence then you just use one of those as the period at the end of the sentence: Oil is something upon which people are too dependent in the U.S.
Don't start a para with a fact:
According to the CIA World Factbook (2009), the United States is the --- precede this with a topic sentence that tells the main idea of the paragraph.
This essay is very good! I am not surprised, because the feedback you give people is always impressive. I want to share something with you about this kind of paper: Let the raw data -- quotes, facts, statistics, etc. -- serve as the skeletons of paragraphs. You might have one para for every piece of data.
Paste the data onto the page, and then precede it with a topic sentence. Then, add a sentence of explanation, elaboration, etc. and finally, conclude the para with a sentence that will transition to the next para (or reflect on the implications). I am telling you that not because you seem to need instruction, but because you are cool and I wanted to share my trick for writing research papers effortlessly.
