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"Engaging academically at Penn" - University of Pennsylvania (1st prompt)

jaegoogle 4 / 8 3  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Please review my first prompt to the University of Pennsylvania supplement. This is my first draft and I don't know if I should include how I will engage sociallyat Penn. Thank you for your time!

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)
"Tell me and I forget."

When it comes to being an engineering student of the University of Pennsylvania, innovation and inspiration are already set in motion. The university offers more than just incredible academic opportunities, outstanding faculty, and diverse demography; it answers the questions as to who I am and what I'll become. As a Penn thinker, I yearn to learn not only from the knowledge written in textbooks or spoken by professors, but from the experience and influence of being a student at Penn that will never be forgotten for years to come.

"Teach me and I remember."

The privilege of pursuing my interests with the opportunity to access all four undergraduate schools at no expense is an opportunity that I cannot ignore. Through the Biomedical Science program, I would research about cell mechanics and learn medical procedures through clinical preceptorship to prepare for the medical field. Furthermore, I would take advantage of nursing opportunities at Penn's world-renowned hospital and explore the dilemmas that affect today's health system through the Nursing and Health Care Management seminars at the School of Nursing and Wharton. I believe that the great scope of flexibility in designing my curriculum is instrumental to the success of my academic involvement at Penn.

"Involve me and I learn."

The true reward of studying bioengineering at Penn is that I can actively contribute to the betterment of local and global communities. The Global Biomedical Service program would give me the chance to benefit the people of other countries with my knowledge of bioengineering so that I would gain greater understanding of global health issues and cultural diversity. The fact that there are boundless opportunities to reach out to not only my own interests, but also to the global community is an inspiration itself.

Chloemoon 3 / 5 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
Nice essay. It would be better if you make tighter the relation between your sub-title and your content.
Chris1395 3 / 8 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
You articulated your interests beautifully. This is a really well-written answer!

About putting how you will engage socially...I did the same thing and I have an English teacher that looks at my essays for me (she's had 20 years of experience with this) and she made me take out anything that was relating to social engagement. But yet, I think your answer closely related the two "engagements" so honestly, I think it would be up to you, and I don't really feel that it would hurt you.

Best of luck!
Rosekareen 5 / 22 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
I liked your essay, it's really very well written. I'm also applying to UPenn but I haven't decided the major yet I'm between 2 o 3 majors D: so really I don't know what to write on the essay.

Just one suggestions I don't see how the quotes relate to each paragraph, aside from this I really like it :D

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