U OF T engineering adimission essay; engineer is an appropriate profession for me

this is the engineering admission essay for UT. i have english as my second language so please bear me with my vocabulary absence and grammar mistakes.

the require od the essay is:
What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree and why would you like to study at the University of Toronto? What skills have you developed through your extra-curricular experiences that will support your future success as both a student and an engineer?

When I was young, I thought that I would become a really powerful people who can affect the worlds after I grew up. Obviously, every single child had the same dream when they were little fantastic thinkers, but most of them failed to achieve. I am also one of these failures who find difficulty to achieve this great goal. However, I am nor a nonstarter. I am still willing to contribute for human society and being a useful person.

First, I find the engineer is an appropriate profession for me. Since I have a strong logical mind but weak at memorizing literatures. Courses like English and History are my headache as it is all about memorizing. The engineering needs a strong logic and a clear mind that fits my advantage. Math, Science, and Computer, are the subjects where I am strong at, which are requires of an engineer. Also, both my parents are engineers and I have been kept touching with this field when I am young. They can even help my school work to achieve a higher degree. The steady jobs after graduating can provide me a financial support. Another great aspect that makes me want to get in this course is the co-op. The benefit from co-op program includes the work experience, the lucre earned and the early touch of the society. All these, induct me to become an engineer.

To become an engineer, a well study environment is needed. University of Toronto can provide the assistance and out stands comparing with the other universities. The education in UT is needless to prove, and the co-op attracts me eagerly. The program itself doesn't decide my choice, but the unique elements from UT catch my sight. UT has a pluralism study environment by receiving students not only from Canada but also from multiple countries. You can find all races with different cultures and characteristics. Having friends with disparate background excites me and gives more meaningfulness to my life.

From my extra-curricular experiences, I developed my skills that mostly fit for both being an engineer and study with multiple cultures. For being an engineer, I have a logical mind and can keep calm under emergency situations. I also have a strong responsibility to guarantee my work is credible and people would enjoy when viewing it. To stay under a environment full with pluralism; I am good at making friends and attentive with others, As well as helping people which I am enjoying to.

From all the aspects above, UT has the best environment for me to fit in. From the education, the diversity in the student body and the natures I have; I pursue myself from contributing our society and achieve my goals. I hope UT can give me this chance to study under your property and benefits both of us.

... who can influence the world positively. .... "after I grew up" is already implied and having it may sound as repetition.


.... well.... you are trying to generalize an idea (highlighted part) and that makes your essay sounds more stereotype. :(
Many children share this dream in their childhood period.


.... hey.... :D ... Don't call yourself a failure. You have not yet begun the journey :)
I suggest you to take off everything about this failure part. It does not sound prudent for me :)



.... This idea is not presented properly. This is my suggestion;
Since I am a person with analytical skills, I am good at logical reasoning, but not so good at memorizing by heart. This is why I am more attracted to mathematics and not so towards subjects like English and History.

hmm thank you for the editin very much, i find my endin isn't strong enough to illustrate my points, is there any suggestion?

When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a very powerful person who could have his mark on the world.


This is my suggestion for your first para;
As a little kid, I dreamed of making my mark on the world when I grow up. Though it was a childish dream, I think I still have not completely abandoned it. However, this vague dream has now become more specific and today I wish to make my mark on the world as an engineer.