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Engineering as a major - China student enrolling in USA

HotDragon10 1 / 1  
Jan 13, 2020   #1
Greetings! ,
My name is den. I'm from China and an undergraduate student who wishes to enrol universities in USA. The deadline for the application is on the 15th of January. And I would like to ask for support for my application. So, if people available on this period, please make an urgent analysis of my response.

Describe your academic objectives and indicate how these are appropriate to your long-range goals.

Please include specifically how a Bachelor's degree from the University of Toronto will contribute to your achieving your longer-range goals.

Engineering is a very impressive major, which would constantly develop to create infinite invention which would change people lives. As persistent electrical engineering, my passion for trying out new challenges and creative thinking mind would help me to pursue my long-term goals of becoming the best engineer. The educational program of math, physics and advanced engineer class would support me to achieve much success and to become a savant. After finishing my degree at the university, I would make an enormous contribution to the university and my own country.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,127 3267  
Jan 14, 2020   #2
Your response statement does not properly respond to the question. The prompt is asking you to summarize your after study career goals. What do you hope to achieve after completing the course? What specific theoretical learning and practical skills do you hope to gain while a student at the university? How will these learning achievements help you become a better engineer? Think about your future. What do you hope to accomplish as an Engineer? Why is the University of Toronto the place for you to learn how to achieve those goals? You have to show a familiarity with the course curriculum in relation to your chosen course. The reviewer needs to know that you are conscious of what you will be getting into and what the University of Toronto expects of its students in this course.
OP HotDragon10 1 / 1  
Jan 15, 2020   #3
I really appreciated your response, and I tried to fix my answer by the order of question that you gave to me. If it's possible, can you check my response again?

Since math and physics are my primary major, building systems and programming is what I prefer. I'd develop my self learning future technologies and valuable lessons with an appropriate internship that is offered from your university. The learning achievement from the University of Toronto would support me with its high faculties to become a skilful engineer because the educational programs provided by the university will be the perfect fit for me. After completing the course, due to the reason my country lacks some development, I will come back to my country and make a significant contribution to the engineering field.

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