As I journeyed through my life, my goals and dreams changed every once in a while. When I was ten years old, I dreamtdreamed of becoming a chef. Turn the clock forward three years into the future, and I willwould be seen dreaming of pursuing an engineering degree in computers. Today, it is simply notbetter rephrase computer engineering I want to pursue in; however, it is the track one engineering I want to pursue in the University of Toronto. During elementary school, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. My peers, parent's friends, and the media who is the media? Elaborate more or it's better not to include it judged my type of personality and said my future opportunities were limited. This angered me and I wanted to prove to the world that I can get in to university and study what I passionately loved - engineering. In high school, I had developed a great sense of passion and fascination for science, especially physics and chemistry. If you asked my friends were they would find me in school, they would say in science or mathrephrase . By combining my love and passion for science with applicability , I chose to pursue an engineering degree. Furthermore, I feel that an engineering degree will help make my brain stay flexible and open to learn new knowledge efficiently. I will have already come so far and personally, I believe it will be such a waste if I forgot all the important concepts I have learntlearned from my years of studies in school and university after when I get older. Later in life, I want to be able to help teach and tutor my kids in science and math if they are interested or need help. Engineers are the problems solvers, innovators and driving force of the development of our society. By pursuing an engineering degree, I want to drivemake some innovations and attempt to tackle some of societies most challenging difficultieschallenges in the society.while atAt the same time, also to keep my brain sharp and satisfy my thirst for science and math.
In the future, my ambitions and academics alone will not help me getting succeed in getting my career if I do not choose to go to a good and reputable university, such as the University of Toronto. Your university has a wide range ofmany excellent professors who loves what they are teaching actually, it would be better if you rephrase it to "excellent professors who are skilled in their fields" and such combined with the amazing history of the University of Toronto. For example, University of Toronto's discovery of insulin is so widely used today for treating diabetes. Furthermore, I am interested in one of your beneficial programs called the Professional Experience Year or PEY. Compared to co-op, I believe PEY will give me the opportunity to gain valuable work experiences and achieve new skills while working in a professional environment. There is no doubt with my strong passion combined with your internationally recognized university, professors and beneficial programs, that I will succeed in the field that I chose and help make the world a better place. rephrase the last sentence please
Throughout my high school years, I have volunteered for many different organizations. The skills I have learntlearned ranges from problem solving to social interaction skills. Skills such as problem solving, will greatly help me with tackling complex problems engineers face on a daily basis. In addition, the social interaction skills I picked up from working and dealing with people in the various organizations I volunteered for, will enable me to interact flawlessly with my professors and peers. Communication is an essential skill for engineers because it allows team members working on a project to communicate their ideas with each other effectively, especially when they are working under pressure. Since I am an introvert person , communication is one of the skills I tend to improve on whenever I get the chance to.
Essay 1: You tend to repeat many words. Like 'science and math' repeated in three sentences subsequently. And also 'pursue', for example.
Essay 2: I think it is better if you also explain what is your plan on your career. I mean
career goals, not only "to be able to teach my kids and to help the world so it could get better". What is your plan? Like for example do you want to work in an international company? Be clearer and more specific about what you would want to achieve and earn at UoT. After that you can mention the PEY thing.
Essay 3: My suggestion: instead of general explanation, try to take a moment out from your organizational experiences and create a story around it. Try to show what you have done and its impact to you.
I wish you good luck. :-)
