My teacher has assigned another topic. Your last feedback was very helpful to me.
Could you please give me some commons about this essay? Thank you very much for your help!!
What are the three important subjects to you? Why?
There are many courses offered by high schools. All of the courses are important to us, but I believe that English, biology, and geography are the most important subjects.
First of all, studying English is necessary to everyone because we live in an English-speaking country. If we do not learn English, we will have trouble communicating with others. In addition, most textbooks, novels, and newspapers are written in English. How can we gain knowledge without taking an English course? Besides, as I looked at the "Employment" section in newspapers, most jobs require an applicant who can speak English fluently and can write very well. Therefore, English is essential to all careers.
Biology is a significant subject as well, as it teaches us the functions of various parts of our bodies, and the ways to keep our bodies healthy. Did you know that drinking Coke and coffee at a young age will cause you to shrink when you are older? Did you know that people who sleep longer have a longer memory than people who sleep less? Did you know that heart attack and high blood pressure are caused by your high fat diet when you are a teenager? By taking biology, we know how to prevent our bodies from getting those painful diseases.
Pollution is a serious problem nowadays, so we must study geography to learn how to protect our environment. According to my geography teacher, much of our groundwater is contaminated from the chemical fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides seeped from the farmland. Moreover, as population increases, more wastes are produced. These wastes not only emit toxic chemicals into our atmosphere, but also take up a lot of spaces. My teacher told me that we should all reduce, reuse, and recycle things as much as we can, in order to alleviate this problem. For farmers, they should use natural fertilizers instead of chemical fertilizers to grow their crops.
In conclusion, by taking English, biology, and geography at high school, I have gained so much valuable knowledge and skills. I will continue to take these subjects at university so that I can become a successful person for our country.
Greetings!
I am happy the previous comments were helpful! I hope these are as well!
1. I would lengthen the first paragraph -- as a rule of thumb, three sentences are a minimum.
2. I would change "first of all" to something more catchy.
3. Having said that, your Q&A approach is VERY well-done! Often, it is NOT well-done, but you have made it quite lively.
4. You need a concluding sentence for your pollution paragraph...
5. Perhaps you can spice up the conclusion?
Overall, a tight essay!
Miriam, EssayForum.com
