"No English" University of Florida Application Essay

Essay Topic> University of Florida application essay
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

ESSAY STARTS HERE>>>
I was five years of age when my whole world collapsed. Lead into a new country by my parents I encounter strange people with a different countenance and language then me. I was at lost for what to do with the situation that I found myself into-a new home that was in every way contradictory to my old life. As I try to adapt to my new life another shift in my life happened, I was going to school. During elementary school I didn't know what I was doing or why was I in a place where people speak a foreign language that I cannot process. It was hard struggling through elementary school as a kid who's still struggling to learn the language and at the same time learn the materials taught in class. As the foreign student who doesn't even know the language spoken in class I was a lost cause to most of my teachers. As a result I become withdrawn and antisocial from my peers and the people around me. Everyday was strenuous as I felt detached from the events around me it was like I was an invisible observer tasked with doing what everyone else was doing but is limited to certain interactions with the people around me. I was still struggling in first grade with speaking and writing English fluently for my English was very fragmented and interactions with people around me was strained but that year something different happened. I made my first friend. Its astonishing how opening up to someone can do to a person and the relief and improvement it can do for one. Through my interactions with people I discovered that not only did my English improve but also the isolated feeling I had for the last two years. Through this experience I learned that interactions with others advance our growth in life be it educational or spiritual as Muhammad Ali states "Friendship...is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

As a result of this experience I now appreciate the importance of the people around me along with the influence of social interactions with those whom I hold dear to me. I learned that its not just about your grade or how high your GPA is its also about how you interact with the people around you to communicate your ideas and distribute your knowledge to those around you. As a student of The University of Florida I will not only focus on my academic education but also assists those struggling and in need of help.

ESSAY ENDS>>>
I'm having trouble closing the essay so I don't know if this closing statement is enough but the word limit for the application essay is about 450 words and mine is already 444 words please help.

Thank You

I was five years old when my whole world fell apart. Brought into another country by my parents, I encountered many strange people who all spoke a language that I could not even begin to comprehend. I was at a loss as for what I should do with the situation, everything just seemed contradictory to my previous life. And just when I thought the changes were done, I found out about the biggest change of all, I had to start going to school.

Try reading this out to yourself and tweak it as you need, but I am not sure how to change the ending since the only problems I am seeing are just spelling. Here is a link for an essay with a similar prompt that the guy did get in with and he is now very successful <www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/essay.htm>

Hope this helps.

LeadHaving led into a new country by my parents I encountered strange people with a different countenance and language then me.with what I was quite unfamiliar.


I was quite alien to my surroundings and felt lost in every way.
As I trytried to adapt to my new life another shift in my life happened, I was going to school.
Maintain one tense :)

1-) as a result, I
- ...Improve, but...
-...education, but....
2-) my new life in another