COLLEGE ESSAY - Describe a place where you feel most content
As my eyes open to the sound of a coffee pot percolating and Saturday morning cartoons playing on the T.V., the warm light of a summer sunrise fills the room. I hop out of bed, throw my bathing suit on and run downstairs to get ready for the day. Summer to me was always the same, but it never got old, only more exciting throughout the years. Weekdays are spent at summer camp, and weekends are spent at Gramma's house on the Long Island Sound.
We pack up the car with our brightly colored towels, the water socks I refused to wear, sunscreen that smells faintly of coconuts, and most importantly, my whole family, dressed in head to toe beach apparel. There is something about Gramma's house that is so special, warm and inviting; there are pink and purple Hydrangeas scattered across the yard with Japanese Maples lining the pool deck. As we arrive, Gramma comes out of the house in a wild printed bathing suit giving us all kisses that stain our faces with her crimson red lipstick that never seemed to fully wipe off. A small koi fish pond is nestled right alongside the house and my brother and I would name them all. There is a beach a few feet behind the house, too rocky to walk on barefoot. My grandfather, who is very well versed in music, is always singing and dancing to Bob Marley and Paul Simon as he flips burgers. He always seems to be humming a tune to himself, no matter where we are.There is no other way to say it; my Grandfather is just an all around "cool" person with a love for his boat and teaching us how to tube and waterski. As long as I can remember, I admire and aspire to be just like him. He taught me how it is okay to fall in the water, as long as I put back on my water skis and stand back up . Little did I know, my summer adventures were about to come to an end.
The summer before my freshman year, I wake up as I normally do, packing a bag to hop in the car to Gramma's house. My mother sits me down and tells me that this year is going to be very different, we can't go to Gramma's house because they had to sell it. I don't understand why, but I feel an emptiness in my heart knowing that the place where so many memories were created is now gone. Summer as I had known it is over. From that point on weekends are spent at public beaches and by our pool, making the most out of summer.
One day not too long after, my family and I are all sitting around the kitchen table over burgers and cucumber salad-- a staple to all our trips to Gramma's. We laugh and reminisce over our memories, and that is the moment that I realize, my Gramma's humorous stories and my Grandfather's adventurous attitude define them, not the big house, beach or boat. Then is when I realized, that being content is so much more than an object or a place. It's those dinner table conversations where everyone is laughing to the point of tears. It's the songs we would sing together,and to this day, still have a special place in my heart. It's the feeling I get when I am surrounded by the people who truly make me smile more than anyone else could. It's that special bond, that I have with nobody else in the world. It doesn't matter which house because anywhere I am with my family is home.
Andrea, the essay has a problem with tenses as you keep on using present tense for past events. You also have some grammatical errors in an otherwise interesting essay. These two observations that I made are only the start of the problem with your essay. The main problem of your essay is that without the essay prompt / instructions, I am unable to review the essay for content and relevance. You must always provide the essay prompt and instructions at the top of the page when you submit an essay for review so that we can have some guidelines regarding the expectations from your essay response. Kindly provide those instructions as soon as you can so that I can offer you a solid, relevant, and usable review of your essay. Thanks !
Adrea, I agree that you wrote a very good essay that unfortunately, does not address the prompt in the proper manner. You spend a great deal of the essay describing the activities that you enjoy rather than describing the place where you feel most content and why. From what I gather, the place that you feel most content is at your grandmother's house. Skip the introduction about the coffee percolating, etc. Skip directly to a description of your grandmother's house and the activities that you do there. Your statement about the way the family comes together at the house is a nice touch and plays directly into the essay prompt. Just revise the introduction. The rest of the essay works perfectly well with the prompt :-)
