Hi,
This is my essay for U of Colorado-Boulder, please take a look and share your comments.
Thank you!
Here's the topic and my essay:
Essay A (required; maximum 500 words): The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?
At the University of Colorado at Boulder, I will bring confidence and leadership to this active campus, in addition to all the other experiences that have shaped my personality; I believe that they will enable me to participate in various activities and communicate with students from different countries with ease.
All my experiences have made me what I am today. Let me explain at a bit further.
The first time I ever spoke to a large crowd, I was giving a welcome speech to some Japanese visitors. Everything went wrong! The microphone was too high for me; my voice kept trembling; I skipped lines and had no idea where I was. The experience left me painfully embarrassed in front of hundreds of people.
This was the first time I experienced the pain of defeat. However, since then I became more social and spent more time around people. I have kept participating in other activities to prove my ability. I also organized table tennis clubs and pop piano clubs. All those have enhanced my leadership skills, made me more confident, and indeed, I have made numerous speeches, without trembling any more.
Furthermore, as a student from China, I will bring my unique cultural, social background and thinking to CU-Boulder and am willing to share with all CU-Boulder students from all around the world; in the meantime, I am eager to listen to and understand other people's thought. With more influence of globalization, it is very important for us international students to communicate with people from every corner of world.
Confucius once said, "How happy we are to have friends from afar!" This really expresses my attitude toward friends. I look forward to meeting people with diverse social, cultural and religious background in university; with students from more than 100 countries, CU-Boulder will definitely provide me a great opportunity for that. The UCSU Cultural Events Board attracts me a lot, for it promotes the interaction among students; I hope to participate to have a deeper understanding of cultural differences and help other students communicate with each other.
At the University of Colorado at Boulder, I will let my light shine both in the classes and in diverse activities outside of the classroom. I read the blogs of some CU-Boulder students; in addition to the breath-taking scenery and the friendly atmosphere, the activities in this campus attract me, from hiking to ballet classes. Moreover, I would like to take part in CU-Boulder's student organizations like CU-CSSA as well as found my own club.
Moreover, I'm planning to major in engineering, in which CU-Boulder has a world-class reputation. I have prepared myself well in math and science for this, and I believe that with the help of CU-Boulder I will help me become an outstanding engineer.
Finally, as a student from China, I am willing to share my unique cultural background with all CU-Boulder students, as well as all the experiences that have shaped me.
Moreover, I'm planning to major in engineering, in which CU-Boulder has a world-class reputation. I have prepared myself well in math and science for this, and I believe that with the help of CU-Boulder I will help me become an outstanding engineer.
Finally, as a student from China, I am willing to share my unique cultural background with all CU-Boulder students, as well as all the experiences that have shaped me.
you already said this, try and find maybe and extra thing that you havent said yet about or maybe just write another sentence to conclude paragraph the one before this.
i think this is a great essay and it really answers the prompt. i like it
good job!
and good luck on CU (:
