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Enriching the College Community (Personal Essay)

Dec 27, 2010   #1
The University of Colorado at Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?

The University of Colorado is an institution that not only offers me the positive reputation of its excellent school, but also a large student body that holds many versatile ideas and ways of living. It is one of the few colleges that is truly committed to the overall success and diversity of the students who enroll there. After many months of researching schools, The University of Colorado is the institution where I would most like to study. The university seems to have an enormous selection of programs and qualities that will overall benefit me as a person, and in return, I am willing to do all that can be possibly done to enrich the inclusive and diverse community if I were able to go there.

Facing the facts, I am a Caucasian, middle class, suburban teenager living in the small town of Eaton, Colorado. While I'm not diverse in terms that that is most typically measured in diversity (race, ethnicity, etc.), I am very different in my personality. I am always very much open-minded and trying to learn about the world around me. Unlike many people, I realize that the encounters we have with diversity remind us how little superficial differences really matter. Although I am not one to have experienced the setbacks of being a minority in a time where "outsiders" were given less opportunities, I realize that no one should ever feel like a minority in a community that I support because everyone is alike regardless of religion, political views, sexual orientation, and social class. In the end, we are all human beings who are capable of expressing the many emotions of happiness, love, hate, guilt, and sadness. That said, I am a very life-loving, friendly person. I want to share my optimism and open-minded personality with all those around me at The University of Colorado. I believe that with much diligence and dedication, anyone can succeed in what they want in life no matter who they are. All one has to do is set their mind on their aspirations and work towards it.

For me, the goals that I carry in life seem very simple, yet they are much more complicated as I take the small steps to try to achieve them. College, one of the main aspirations that I hold, is heavily approaching. Now, having to make the tough decisions that will lay the stepping stones to the path I want to take in life, many new and exciting changes are brought into my life. I fully understand that having a college education is immensely important and I am willing to endure the labor and hard work I must accomplish so that I can look back in my life with great gratitude and reach my destination into a better life. Although the small town that I currently reside in isn't generally diverse, I am ready to approach the many wonders and marvels that the world has to offer me. I know that The University of Colorado would be the perfect start.

Dec 27, 2010   #2
I think the 1st paragraph is too general; you can technically replace U of Colorado with any other college, and I don't like the tone of the 2nd paragraph cuz it sounds like a population census report
Dec 27, 2010   #3
Thank you for the input, but does anyone have any advice not to make it that way? or should I write the whole thing over agaiN?

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