The photography I am interested in is documentary, scenic, people and families as they interact, set photography.<oh no, this won't do * I'm not a photographer that likes to stay in a studio, I like traveling and being out side. I don't like fake, I like pulling the emotions out of people so you have a true feeling of who they are and what they do.
*I am sorry to say this, but this whole paragraph sounds more like a personal ad than an academic composition. your first sentence was so good! What happened?
Jennifer, is this free-writing? Free writing is a great tool for organizing your thoughts, but it needs a certain level of revision to be coherent. That said, I think you need to get stepping on this beat. It is weird that you start off so strong, get really weak in the middle (almost like another person entirely), and then come on workably strong again below.
I am going to come back and do a quick-fix on the last part, but I hope you will re-work the middle. Until then,