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Enthusiasm, Bagpipes & Muffins-Stanford Roommate Supplement


srp284cave 4 / 11  
Sep 21, 2012   #1
Dear Roommate,

Are you ready to make the most of what Stanford presents to us? I sure am! Are you "normal?" I definitely am not!

Enthusiasm is the most vibrant quality of mine. My enthusiasm is contagious, or at least it is to my parents; I make any moment the moment. Whether it's through my harmonious bagpipes, tuned to perfection, or during the 19th minute of baking 20-minute muffins, I make it the most exhilarating moment of the day. You must be thinking, "Seriously, the bagpipes?" Well I speak the truth; I do play the bagpipes and, if I am allowed to, I will definitely show you the splendor of the bagpipes. Do not worry though, as soon as the bagpipes get too annoying for you, I will try not to be offended, and promptly put it away. As much as I like my bagpipes, there is something I am more passionate about: cooking.

I don't cook the greatest lasagna or make the best tacos, but I do know how make scrumptious muffins (as long as it's a just-add-water recipe). I don't know whether it's my eagerness for muffins that serves as a placebo, or I know the golden ratio of muffin mix to water, but my muffins never fail to disappoint. When we arrive to our dorm, making muffins for you will be the second thing I do.

First, I want us to explore. By the second day on campus, I want us to know every corner of Stanford's campus, every research facility, and above all, every fast food location! We'll use a bicycle to travel across the campus so we can burn off the delicious food we eat. Oh that reminds me, we must engage in sports!

I hope you also are hyped about attending athletic events, especially the football games and tennis matches at Stanford, since they're exceptional programs I am passionate about tennis, although I'm not varsity-worthy. I definitely wish to compete at the intramural level. If you join me, perhaps you can learn to love some of the things I do. Of course, we'll establish a healthy balance; I'm open to your passions too.
KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Sep 22, 2012   #2
Hi)
I think your essay is interesting, really shows the quirky side of yours) I am applying to Stanford as well and I love cooking too.

Some of my suggestions

My enthusiasm is contagious, or at least it is to my parents

My enthusiasm is contagious, or at least it is to my parents; I make any moment the moment . Whether it's through my harmonious bagpipes, tuned to perfection, or during the 19th minute of baking 20-minute muffins, I make itany triviality the most exhilarating moment of the day.

I hope you also are hyped about attending athletic events, especially the football games and tennis matches at Stanford, since-- they're quite exceptional programsand I am really passionate about tennis, although I'm not varsity-worthy.

If you join me, perhaps you can learn to love some of the things the way I do.
OP srp284cave 4 / 11  
Sep 26, 2012   #3
I know you are extremely busy, but I read your feedback, and made those changes and a few more tweaks, so if you could read my revised version and let me know how this is, whenever you get the opportunity to. ONCE AGAIN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME. (actually you probably do, since you're applying to Stanford as well...it would be more than splendid to possibly see you there if I could get in!) well here it is...
KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Sep 27, 2012   #4
I noticed this only now

but my muffins never fail to disappoint .

so your muffins always succeed in disappointing)

Well, your essay is still nice and the same just with some of my suggestions. Repost essays only if you have changed them dramatically-- no need to post practically the same thing.


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