However, I still felt something was lacking, and I had to find the perfect place for me.
This makes me wonder what was lacking. It makes me want to know about some realization you had, some new objectives that you want to achieve and can best achieve at Cornell. What is your REAL reason for transferring. Throw in a little authenticity by giving a sentence that realy tells the real reason. Maybe it is simple; maybe you have had a vision that included Cornell for the past few years, and your process if finally about to take you there.
impressed me extremely
. Say this a different way!
also, I think those last two paragraphs seem underdeveloped. How about adding one more sentence to the beginning of each, a new topic sentence?
Good luck, I think they will like the style of thinking you seem to have.