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'an environment for self-learning' U Penn: What do you hope to learn and contribute


erndawg 4 / 13  
Dec 25, 2011   #1
While I browsed the website of the University of Pennsylvania, I asked myself, "What makes a great university?" As I was pondering this question, I gawked at my screen when I saw scenes such as the The Blanche P. Levy Park, flushed with bright green grass, and the medieval architecture of the Quad. The beauty of these structures sparked more interest on my part for the University of Pennsylvania. As I did more research, I started to fall more in love with Penn. All of the aspects of the university attracted me, from the top academics, to the athletics, to the active involvement of the student body. It was then that I came up with an answer to my question, Balance. I believe that this balance that the University of Pennsylvania has is what makes it one of the most unique institutions of higher learning in the world.

One of the great things about Penn is that it provides an environment for self-learning. Many people from all corners of the globe come to Penn and this diversity is the greatest learning tool of them all. I want to be able to sit down with a group of people from different backgrounds and engage in discussion and debate. I want to be able to give my own opinion on certain issues and learn from the different perspectives of my peers. I want to be able to see the world in a light I had never imagined. Penn makes this possible for me.

Although Penn's student body is academically gifted, the beauty of it is that these same students are not bound to the classroom. Penn's students are also musicians, athletes, Greeks, and above all, human. I've been to some colleges where the students seem like robots with the same routine: eat, study, sleep, and repeat. At Penn, this is not the case. The great involvement of the student body attracts me greatly. I want to be able to give back to the community through service, play sports, and be able to make friends all while working hard academically. The opportunities for involvement beyond the classroom at Penn are unparallel. At Penn, students are able to join groups that range from teaching others to embrace cultural differences to groups such as Alternate Spring Break, a group that offers community service trips to various locations across the country. Penn's embracement of the notion that school is not all about academics distinguishes it from the other elite institutions of the nation.

As an aspiring applicant to the College of the Arts and Sciences, I am excited for all the opportunities such an education would provide for me. I look forward to be stimulated mentally from world renowned professors and to take advantage of tools such as peer advisors and other students to learn more about myself and others. At the CAS, I will be able to combine studies from my economics major with other subjects such as calculus, literature, and various other subjects. This flexibility that Penn provides as part of its program promotes the intellectual growth of an individual. Unlike at other institutions, Penn allows students to wander through the various fields of academics in order to expand knowledge and to gain insight in other fields that would not have been possible if students were bound to one major. If I am accepted, I would strive to play a pivotal role in this cultured learning experience. I would talk to other students about my studies and will be able to exchange knowledge with my peers. This exchange of intellectual findings not only promotes my growth as a student, but also helps the student body mature intellectually as well.

I firmly believe that learning shouldn't be bound to just classroom lectures. I have found in my research that Penn also holds this same idea. True learning comes not just from professors, but also from an active student body. At Penn, the best of both worlds are combined in order to form an experience that remains eternal for those that walk through the Franklin Field Gates at The University of Pennsylvania.
USMAN GUJJAR 2 / 33  
Dec 25, 2011   #2
first paragraph last line,there should be some comma????in lasr paragraph add only with not.combination is like this,Not only,But Also when we use it in sentence
OP erndawg 4 / 13  
Dec 25, 2011   #3
Thanks, but is this essay a good essay or do you think It can be better?
USMAN GUJJAR 2 / 33  
Dec 25, 2011   #4
I think its simpl but impressive
Leehoo 5 / 10  
Dec 25, 2011   #5
Overall I think your essay is good. But it seems that you've written too much about what Penn can give you. Perhaps more emphasis on what can you contribute to Penn?

I'm applying for Penn as well, please help check mine if you don't mind? (I also failed to write about my contribution to Penn =.=)

Thanks!
Ramo 2 / 11  
Dec 25, 2011   #6
Excellent essay! The most admirable thing about it is that it shows GENUINE interest. You are not simply attracted to the university because of its prestige, something admission officers hate to see, but rather you are passionate about the school for specific aspects that you mention above. Not only does it show your expertise on the school (the hints of flattery you use are bound to earn you positive points with the admission committee) but you integrate what you hope to learn and contribute very well. The grammar is excellent from what I can see. Again, this essay is perfect because it's passionate, it carries a distinct voice, it shows expertise, and it shows great promise from your part.
eastring 3 / 3  
Dec 25, 2011   #7
It does have some generic points (everyone loves Quad and its 'diversity'), your essay seems adequate enough not to affect your chance.
pinkbunny - / 9  
Dec 26, 2011   #8
I enjoyed the essay, but you're pretty much telling the admissions officers all the great stuff about their school. They already know that. They want to know what YOU can bring to the school. In that aspect, I don't think you answered the question fully enough. I could have written the same essay by going to the website as well. Add personal anecdotes about why PENN needs YOU! good luck! :)
DesiGirl 9 / 52  
Dec 27, 2011   #9
LOVE your essay :) A few comments:

Don't capitalize balance in the first paragraph
I agree with the above comment that says don't just describe great qualities of the school. I faced this realization as well. Like for me it was instead of just stating a school's dance team is good. Talking about how I want to be a part of that and why. So stick a couple of personal desires in and you're good to go :D (Just like what you did in the College of Arts and Sciences paragraph)


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