Ok so it said "approximately 500 words" this is 524, is that bad? Tips to shorten it? Oh and I'm sorry if it seems weird!
Hello, my name is Aria Barker and welcome to my ideal class. First of all, let me set a few ground rules:
1. This classroom will provide students with the unique opportunity to participate in group style discussions. Studies have shown that discussing ideas, rather than merely writing them down or hearing them in a lecture, leads to more information being stored in a student's long-term memory. Desks are placed in a circle at the center of the room as opposed to rows.
2. Daily Classroom instruction: We will begin each day by going around the circle and addressing any and all questions about the material. Both students and the instructor are encouraged to answer questions; however they must answer them in a way that does not give away the answer right away. Example: Instead of answering "What is 2+2?" with "4" say, "Hold up two fingers on your right hand and two on your left hand, now count how many you have total." After questions are clarified, the daily topic is addressed and students are encouraged to start with how the question relates to the reading material, acceptable theories or relevant real life experience. The last twenty minutes of class are dedicated to questions about the topic and a short reflection on what was learned in the class.
3. Instead of an instructor that asserts their power at every opportunity, the instructor will be approachable and ready to handle questions (and questioning) from students as well as any comments or suggestions. The instructor must also refrain from raising their voice in class.
4. As tempting as it may seem do not call the instructor "bro" "dude" or by their first name. This may not be as structured as a normal classroom, however, it is still respectful to call a teacher by Mr./Mrs./Ms.
5. A suggested reading list with appropriate deadlines is providing on the first day of class. Please note that these are merely suggestions and the instructor is happy to honor other relevant material as long as it is not a compilation from stuffonmycat.com.
6. Laptops are not allowed in the classroom during discussions because a.) They become a physical barrier between you and your peers and b.) How will the instructor know if you're Facebooking or taking notes? iPods, iPhones and iPads may only be used for instructional purposes.
And finally...
7. If you've heard the "this class is 100% what you put into it" cliché, it is true. In this class, you must not sit back and let the discussions go over your head. You need to contribute to society by applying what you've learned in class. Start by talking to a fellow student after class once a day. Then a student not in your class. Use your speaking skills to go out into the community and talk about current issues. Inspire debate and incite conversation. Speak out for those without a voice. Animals that lack the physical capability, the poor who are often shut down by rich people with louder voices, the shy citizens who need an advocate. Take what you learned from this class and be someone's voice.
Wow, that last paragraph was great!
Overall, I think you were very creative and did a great job on this essay! I would try to elaborate a bit more on the 'impact the world' part, although you seem to be tight on words already. I would write a brief sentence on how this structed, yet open (lack of a better word) classroom design will help the students in todays generation to adequately learn all of the material and to reach their full potentials. Thus, better educated students will lead to a more promising future for the world. Some little line like that is needed.
Other than that, it was interesting to read and I'm sure the admissions counselor will enjoy it as well!
I say be on the point and get rid of extra words, but keep the content.
example :Both students and the instructor are encouraged to answer questions; however they must answer them in a way that does not give away the answer right away.
overall, well done! good luck:) please help with mine.
Hey I really like the conclusion! It's really strong. I agree with PO - you should get rid of some extra points. Other than tt, I really do think that it's a good essay! Thanks for your help on mine!
