junlee306 1 / - Nov 13, 2014 #1Everyone around me told me I was reckless. I had nothing but the courage and determination to study for my dream, and it came true. Living in three different states in America and studying in a boarding school for two years changed a unsociable, brown-eyed boy who only knew the alphabet and the expression 'hi' to a fluent English speaker standing on the podium. Everything seemed daunting and intimidating. I, nevertheless, have progressed beyond the limit by opening up new possibilities,I have become more open-minded and optimistic character though never-ending challenges. These challenges provided priceless opportunities to establish exhilarating and enlightening brotherhood which can be extended even outside of school. Not only building up intimacy with friends whom I lived with like family members but I have also gone through multicultural experiences. Exposed to new environments, I overcame the adversity that kept me in loneliness. I enjoy meeting and interacting with new, diverse groups of people.It is worthwhile to learn how to deal with the outside world through first-hand experiences.Looking ahead, these journeys might be overwhelming, but I am not longer "a little frog in a little pond". In the fall of 2015, my new journey in college begins. This journey is another challenge in a new environment and new people. The years in college will go by quickly. I will once again propel towards achieving my next dream. With the dynamic momentum that I carried over several years, I am ready to study and be prepared for the future at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
shachar183 3 / 6 Nov 15, 2014 #2a unsociable, brown-eyed boy who only knew the alphabet and the expression 'hi' to a fluent English speaker standing on the podiumI think the physical description here is redundant. Consider changing unsociable to shy/timid. Overall, great sentance.I have become more open-minded and optimistic character through never-ending challenges.In my opinion it's a pretty good essay. Think about describing a bit more about the things that changed you.
alberic - / 10 1 Nov 16, 2014 #3Firstly, I am not sure if it is no longer: "a little frog in a little pond".Secondly, I am fairly certain it would be better if you depicted those challenges in more details. However, the overall content is nice! Keep up the good work!