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Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by environment around

Jack_Kin 1 / -  
Nov 28, 2018   #1
Question: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

community where I belong

I am a fan of independent travel, and I have taken 4 independent trips with different people after graduating from high school.

Independent travel means everything is organized by myself, be it booking my own accommodation, planning transport or designing itinerary. I went to Kyoto with my friend Kevin, and It was our first time that we traveled abroad without parents. Sufficient preparations were made before setting off: visas, plane tickets, hotel bookings, schedule managements, maps of sights and metro routes...Of course, the travel was successful and our sense of achievement is beyond words.

Travelling is about the journey, both physical and spiritual. I used to travel 60 km with a friend of mine, from urban areas to an island by cycling, to see the stars. It was a hot sunny day, and the highest temperature is 38℃. It takes strong will and a great deal of sweat to getting on, but the starry sky worth the torturous process. We recorded the moving of the stars and the sun-rising process with my camera, as well as some process of my cycling. I also made a video clip and upload the video to social networks, which have been viewed hundreds of times, and I got some likes and comments from other travelers.

By now, I've uploaded 4 travel videos on social networks and made some friends. And I'm planning a self-driving trip in January. Perhaps independent travel, for me, is more than just a hobby or a holiday activity - it's a fundamentally life-changing experience.

arnoldb 2 / 3 3  
Nov 28, 2018   #2
Hi Jack,
the prompt is asking you to describe the community(where you belong) and your role in that community. From what I've read, I take it your community is a travel community, meaning you like to travel a lot, to explore and discover the world.

to answer your prompt, ask yourself these questions: what have I contributed to the travel community? what has the travel community done for me, or how has it impacted my life?

your contributions may include inspiring your friend to join the travel community, your videos of the stars and the sun-rising might have inspired some people( you can quote a comment from one or two views) to want to experience that feeling...

what you have gained( what the community has done for you) as a traveler may include learning to be an independent individual, connecting with people from other time zones through your videos on youtube, etc
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,303 1841  
Nov 29, 2018   #3
jinzhejian, you have chosen a very interesting topic for this discussion. However, your presentation is off. You are talking about how you perform as an independent traveler when you should be discussing how you function when you travel with a group. This is the point of you saying that you have taken 4 independent trips with different people. Independent trips merely indicates the lack of parental supervision and that you did not travel with family or friends. You traveled with complete strangers. As such, you belong to a "group travel" community, not "independent travel". As a member of the group travel community, you should explain what you experienced as a part of the group. As a member of this community, were you ever given any tasks to perform? Or perhaps you were required to act in a certain manner? Now, I have some apprehensions about this presentation because you may have only been part of a "group tour" during these travels, which most certainly does not make you part of a community. A "group travel community" is defined by a group of people who do not have a tour guide nor any definite travel plans upon reaching the destination country. You only got together with these people as part of a "Travel group" for the experience of an unguided tour of the country. If a tour guide was involved, then this is not the correct topic for this essay.

Don't discuss your individual accomplishments during the travels you took. There is nothing indicating that you were part of a community in this presentation. You were just a member of a travel group, not a travel community. You may want to rethink the presentation in terms of relevance to the prompt requirements. It doesn't read like it suits the prompt expectations.

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