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'everything gets better with time' - moving from Mexico to the U.S. - UT Austin Topic A


jdsada98 2 / 2  
Nov 16, 2015   #1
Any suggestion on how to improve it? Thank you in advance.

Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.

One of the most challenging experiences of my life was moving from Mexico to the U.S. I remember sitting in my living room as my parents told me that we would move to San Antonio the following year. I could see that they expected an unenthusiastic response from me. I however didn't react that way at all. I was honestly enthused by this idea, I longed for new experiences and I thought that moving and leaving my old life behind wouldn't be too hard. Honestly I don't quite know what I was thinking, it never dawned on me how hard this transition would actually be. So I set about my days and casually told people about the news, they would ask me if I was scared or if I would miss my friends. I would say I wasn't scared because I've never had any difficulty making friends or fitting in so I didn't know what I should be scared of. As for my friends I would just say that I would but I didn't really understand how much relationships can be affected by distance.

When I first moved to the U.S. and started my 8th Grade year, I was excited I couldn't wait to see my new school and make new friends. As school started and I got to experience what it's really like to live here, I realized that settling in here would prove to be a challenge. It wasn't until I started to get to know people here that I realized that I was dealing with a completely different culture and no matter how well I thought I knew English, I would have to learn small but important social norms. An example of this would be the way to greet people of the opposite sex. In Mexico and other parts of the world, we are taught to greet all members of the opposite sex with a kiss on the cheek, this applies to acquaintances, strangers, friends and parents of friends. That is not common here in the U.S. and I had to learn that the hard way, through many awkward encounter when I leaned in for a kiss and I am met by a friendly hug or when I met a friend's mom and I lean in to kiss her and she cuts me off with a confused stare and an awkward handshake. During the middle of my 8th Grade year I had finally had enough of this, I missed the comfort of my own home, I missed my culture and my friends. I longed for my previous life and was angered that I had wanted to come here in the first place. I begged my parents to take my back but they said we couldn't. Im glad they said no, because if they hadn't I never would've gotten to experience what its like to live among other cultures and beliefs. This is something that has changed me forever.

People say that everything gets better with time, and I wholeheartedly agree. The longer I lived here the more I started to understand American customs, some even started to make sense to me. I made new friendships that have shaped me to be who I am today. I've come to grow as person in several ways, for example, I've become more outspoken, more independent, and more open-minded. This is experience has made me who I am today and for that I am extremely grateful.
chaddonohoe 3 / 7 2  
Nov 16, 2015   #2
Great essay, you have some interesting stuff! I am also applying to the university of texas! I would give more concrete details and solid examples to give depth and strength to your essay. Describe certain hardships and how you overcame them.

Check out my essay!
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Nov 17, 2015   #3
Well Juan, you certainly presented a very impressive essay. this was not merely a discussion of a different belief, but a comparison of two cultures and the differences that each culture represents. The way that you turned what was turning into a negative experience into a positive and learning one for yourself is really impressive and shows that you have the ability to fit in regardless of the situation that you are faced with. That said, I spotted a few portions in the essay that need to be corrected just to smooth out the flow of the discussion. Here are the revised essay portions:

I however , didn't react that way at all. I was honestly enthused by this idea,

When I first moved to the U.S. and started my 8th Grade year, I was so excited that I couldn't wait to see my new school and make new friends.

In Mexico and other parts of the Latin American world, we are taught to greet all members of the opposite sex with a kiss on the cheek,

That is not common here in the U.S. and I had to learn that the hard way, through many awkward encountesr when I leaned in for a kiss and I am met by a friendly hug or getting cut off with a confused stare and an awkward handshake.

I'm glad they said no, because if they hadn't I never would've gotten to experience what it's like to live among other cultures and beliefs.

People say that everything gets better with time, and I wholeheartedly agree. The longer I lived here , the more I started to understand American customs. Some even started to make sense to me. I made new friendships that have shaped me to be who I am today. I've come to grow as person in several ways. For example, I've become more outspoken, more independent, and more open-minded.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 23, 2015   #4
Juan, I'd like to address the needed corrections on your essay.

- However, I however didn't react that way at all.
- I was honestly enthusedoverjoyed by this idea,
- Honestly, ( don't forget your punctuation marks to create that breather for your sentence ) I don't

- When I firstwe moved to the U.S. and started my 8th Grade year,
- I was excited, I couldn't wait to see my new school
- and was angeredfeeling silly that I had wanted to come here in the first place.
- I made new friendships that have shaped me to be who I am today.
- I've come to grow as a person in several ways,
- for example, I've become more outspoken, more independent, and more open-minded.
- This is experience has made me who I am todayhoned me into the person I am today and
- for that I am extremely grateful.

There you have it Juan, I hope you follow through with the corrections made in order to enhance your essay.


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