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'excel in math & science and personal qualities' - uc


mcas 2 / 2  
Nov 28, 2007   #1
I have sent a copy of my prompt 1 essay earlier but I thought of revising it. Can you please help. Your help is greatly appreciated. THANKS A LOT!

also I need help w/ essay prompt # 2 - it asks to tell about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are. I can no longer think of what to say.

Here are my personal qualities.

1. have always been an honor student since 1st grade.
2. a gifted and talented student since 2nd grade.
3. took honors classes in freshman & sophomore year -
a.) freshman year - honors english, natural science & geometry
b.) sophomore year - honors english, algebra 2, natural science 2 & worl history
4. took AP classes in junior & senior year
a.) junior year - AP chemistry, AP biology, AP US history, honors english, honors pre-calculus
b.) senior year - AP government, AP english, AP calculus, AP physics, AP environmental science

I excel in math & science - these are my passion

GPA - weighted - 4.4167
non-weighted - 3.75

class rank: 13 out of 664
10-12 grade rank: 11
ranked by weighted total GPA

SAT 1 score - 1960
SAT 2 score - M2 - 690
MB - 710

AP US History exam - scored 4
AP Biology exam - " 4
AP Chemistry exam - " 3
OP mcas 2 / 2  
Nov 28, 2007   #2
Some people may say that the world they come from is not a good reflection of who they are or what they want to achieve; they say they want to break away from the monotony of their daily routines. However, I take a different stance on that topic. Rather, I feel perfectly comfortable with where I come from, because it has helped me determine who I am and what I hope to be. I believe that being comfortable with where I come from has greatly influenced the person that I am today and the aspirations that I have for the future.

I come from a middle-class, multi-cultural family. My ancestors originated all the way across the globe from Spain to China and the Philippines, where my great grandparents migrated and where my grandparents and their children were born. Being of Asia-American descent, the influence in cultural behavior that has been instilled in me has tremendously helped in my spiritual, mental and developmental upbringing.

My parents taught me a great deal of perseverance, patience, humility, prayerfulness, tolerance, wit, prudence and the ability to adapt to any environment and circumstance. Like any other immigrants who have migrated to this country, they have confronted the cultural difference; they were acquainted to the rigors of American life. Under their life philosophy, anything is possible if you put your heart into achieving your life's dream. My mother, for one, is a total disciplinarian, making sure that her family are relating to the suitable guidelines that are normal and acceptable to society, meaning that we must always behave and do as they say. She made sure that I was able to read and write at a young age, and not watching too much television and playing video games. She has always encouraged me and my sister to do well in school and has always been a strong figure in all our school activities, backing us up in every way she can. My mother saw to it that God also played an important part of our lives. As we were not fortunate to attend Catholic school, she enrolled me and my sister to Catechism classes. She constantly reminded us that being able to keep up with the achievements that we have always attained could very well pave the way for better scholarship grants and a good college education..

Like my parents, I have always regarded education a worthy cause - a requisite for career advancement and contemporary survival in this modern day and age. Education warrants innovative ideas necessary for the quality of life's improvements. It is a good avenue where one not only improves himself but also his own personality. With these lessons in mind, I know I will attain the educational pursuit which will equip me with the necessary vantage to benefit society in return.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 28, 2007   #3
Greetings!

You are a person of many talents and accomplishments! Congratulations! Regarding essay prompt #2, it appears to me that your passion for math and science has allowed you to really excel at your studies in those areas. Perhaps you should focus your essay on this talent, as it has allowed you to achieve excellence in your studies.

Here are some editing suggestions for your essay:

where my great-grandparents migrated

they were acquainted with the rigors of American life. - It would sound better, however, to say "they became acclimated to the rigors of American life."

making sure that her family are relating to the suitable guidelines that are normal and acceptable to society - "family" is a collective noun. In American English, when the collective noun refers to the group as a unit, as here, it is treated as singular, so say "her family is . . . "

As we were not fortunate enough to attend a Catholic school, she enrolled me and my sister in catechism classes.

I know I will attain the educational pursuit which will equip me with the necessary vantage to benefit society in return. - One does not attain a pursuit, but rather, pursues a goal.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP mcas 2 / 2  
Nov 29, 2007   #4
THANKS A LOT, YOUR HELP IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.


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