Please provide feedback on this essay. Is it strong on balance? A critique on sentance structure, punctuation, and transition would be very helpful. Thank you for all advice offered.
Please use this space to write an essay in which you discuss your interest in the Yale University School of Medicine
The Yale School of Medicine embodies a long-established tradition of academic excellence. Distinguished among medical schools, Yale provides a superior medical education, is at the forefront in medical research, and through its network of teaching hospitals delivers exceptional patient care. I can easily envision managing, maneuvering, and flourishing in Yale's unique integrated curriculum, which provides latitude for independent as well as group interaction. I anticipate working with renowned mentors and other aspiring physicians in a multicultural diverse community-who will educate and inspire; challenge and stimulate my understanding of the biomedical sciences and the practice of medicine; and impart an appreciation for compassionate patient care.
As a well-disciplined, self-motivated student, the Yale System is perfectly suited to me. The system will allow me to take an active role in my medical education, and areas of interest such as cancer research. As a Yale medical student I will focus on understanding and appreciating medicine, rather than competing for grades or rankings. I emphatically embrace the cooperative learning environment, where students need not compete with peers, but work together for mutual growth. Additionally, the small-group structuring will provide for greater interactions amongst colleagues and establish close mentoring relationships with knowledgeable physicians and scientists who are at the forefront of their fields.
While pursuing my medical education at Yale, I look forward to early exposure to patient care within the Yale-New Haven Hospital System where I can hone my skills as a clinician. Perhaps equally important will be the opportunity to encounter others, albeit in unsettling circumstance, and have the chance to do something that I think I do best. I listen and I care. The clinical rotations will further strengthen and broaden my medical knowledge and clinical skills.
I have truly enjoyed my undergraduate years at Rice University, especially my medical ethics studies within my Philosophy major and my cancer research at the Baylor College of Medicine. I am committed to make research an integral part of my medical education and practice. At Yale, I can involve in self-directed biomedical research through the Medical Student Research Program. Continuing on in cancer research, I anticipate pursuing my M.D. thesis at the Yale Cancer Center, where I can integrate science and medicine to study an important aspect of cancer physiology and contribute to the University's rich research culture. Engaging in Yale's research program will help me further develop my scientific skills, including critical thinking and problem solving, which I can integrate into my clinical practice to become a better physician.
I would be remiss if I also did not address the location of Yale as a strong consideration in my application. I believe it would be imprudent to dismiss the location of any school in contemplation of forwarding an application. My family home is located in Greenwich, Connecticut. Thus, Yale would not only provide an exceptional medical education, but would also provide me comfort of mind being close to home.
