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UW Personal Statement Prompt: Describe an experience of cultural difference, positive or negative, you have had or observed. What did you learn from it? (500-650 Words)
Many say family is always there for you, but I don't find it very true. In China, my family was very loving and caring despite the hardships caused by poverty and communism but they were forced to immigrate to America due to the lack of money. The family decided to leave my dad because he was the eldest son. After months of being scared, lonely, and depressed, he gradually developed a mental disorder. A year later, my dad met my mom. No one noticed the developing mental disorder until they got married. My dad's side of the family found out and instantly blamed my mom. Soon after, my mom had my brother and me. From when we were born till now, even though my grandpa and my family lived together, he hardly ever paid attention to us. I grew up not knowing my grandpa despised my family. He would blame whatever he could on my mom and call her unlucky. Not only did my grandpa dislike my mom, he also disliked me. I would always go upstairs to where he lived, to play, but every time I tried to set foot, he would yell at me and scare me with a bamboo stick. The only times he allowed me to go upstairs was to play with my cousin. But even then, I was isolated from him. When we ate, I always ate in the kitchen by myself while my grandpa would feed my cousin in the living room. A couple years later, I learned to become more independent but my mom gradually became less and less involved with our family. At the age of 10, I began to learn to cook, clean and take care of the house. I took some of the responsibility from my mom, so she could focus on her job because my dad was unable to work. At the age of 12, my mom unexpectedly told me she was going to divorce my dad because she couldn't handle the burden anymore. I knew my dad couldn't take care of himself and my brother didn't have the will of taking care of someone else, so I took the weights off my mom's shoulder and placed it onto mine; I took the role of a mother and a wife. But even with the weights placed onto my shoulder, we struggled economically. My dad had to collect money from the government. I had to watch our spending and manage school. It was difficult waking up extra early to make food for my dad and brother, going to school, and coming home with homework and extra chores to do. I knew I had to work extra hard because I wanted a better future for myself; I didn't want to live through the experience again. Through the many years of responsibility and independency, I felt like I lacked my childhood. I was a child who didn't depend on anyone but a child who had dependents. Almost every day I went straight home after school to work on homework and do chores. My classmates always asked me to go over to their house but I would always tell them I was busy. With education, I know I could become more knowledgeable and in the long run, I can find many more ways to help people because I don't want them to go through what I went through. When people came to me for problems, I always wished I had someone to turn to, to help me out but I didn't. Knowing I have the ability to help others creates a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. But I know with education, I can expand my knowledge, which in turn, leads to the expansion of my ability to help others.
Just a little something that might help:
I intend to study either in the sociology, psychology or communication field.
I think this is a brilliant essay. It was very well written, and even grammar wise, nothing that stood out as incorrect. I like how your personal history has turned you on to the idea of focusing on the sociology, psychology, or communication field.
I might rewrite the last sentence as "But I know with education I can expand my knowledge, which in turn, expands my ability to help others".
Many say family is always there for you, but I don't find it very true. In China, my family was very loving and caring despite the hardships caused by poverty and communism but they were forced to immigrate to America due to the lack of money. The family decided to leave my dad because he was the eldest son. After months of being scared, lonely, and depressed, he gradually developed a mental disorder. A year later, my dad met my mom. No one noticed the developing mental disorder until they got married. My dad's side of the family found out and instantly blamed my mom. Soon after, my mom had my brother and me. From when we were born till now, even though my grandpa and my family lived together, he hardly ever paid attention to us. I grew up not knowing my grandpa despised my family. He would blame whatever he could on my mom and call her unlucky. Not only did my grandpa dislike my mom, he also disliked me. I would always go upstairs to where he lived, to play, but every time I tried to set foot, he would yell at me and scare me with a bamboo stick. The only times he allowed me to go upstairs was to play with my cousin. But even then, I was isolated from him. When we ate, I always ate in the kitchen by myself while my grandpa would feed my cousin in the living room. A couple years later, I learned to become more independent but my mom gradually became less and less involved with our family. At the age of 10, I began to learn to cook, clean and take care of the house. I took some of the responsibility from my mom, so she could focus on her job because my dad was unable to work. At the age of 12, my mom unexpectedly told me she was going to divorce my dad because she could not* handle the burden anymore. I knew my dad couldn't take care of himself and my brother didn't have the will of taking care of someone else, so I took the weight* off my mom's shoulder and placed it onto mine; I took the role of a mother and a wife. But even with the weight* placed onto my shoulder, we struggled economically. My dad had to collect money from the government. I had to watch our spending and manage school. It was difficult waking up extra early to make food for my dad and brother, going to school, and coming home with homework and extra chores to do. I knew I had to work extra hard because I wanted a better future for myself; I didn't want to live through the experience again. Through the many years of responsibility and in- dependency*, I felt like I lacked my childhood. I was a child who didn't depend on anyone but a child who had dependents. Almost every day I went straight home after school to work on homework and do chores. My classmates always asked me to go over to their house but I would always tell them I was busy. With education, I know I could become more knowledgeable and in the long run, I can find many more ways to help people because I don't want them to go through what I went through. When people came to me for problems, I always wished I had someone to turn to, to help me out but I didn't. Knowing I have the ability to help others creates a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. But I know with education, I can expand my knowledge, which in turn, leads to the expansion of my ability to help others.
really good story maybe you could introduce your essay so it can pull in the reader
