Hello all,
I have finished writing an essay for The Common Application, about my "transition into adulthood." I stumbled across this site and I thought this would be a great way to get varying opinions and unbiased feedback. Please read and let me know what you think! Thank you!
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I never expected a project to change and develop me, more than I developed it. As I completed my two year Service Project for the rank of Eagle Scout, I realized that my perspective pivoted in a new direction. I crossed a threshold that has caused me to shift focus from just myself, to the life around me. This project became an integral part of my growth into adulthood, and I realized that I was no longer just growing up, but growing out, and becoming an active part of my community.
Being an Eagle Scout has become more than just an identity for me. It has marked a major step in my personal development. In order to lead a productive and meaningful life, I am embarking on a journey that has already begun, because neither does a journey begin when you step out the door, nor as the plane achieves liftoff, but rather when you decide to leave. As I consider the safety of home and family, my focus has changed, shifting from what I know, to what I am ready to learn. My Eagle Scout project was a new experience and I learned a great deal from it, including some of the connotations of adulthood correlating to the project, including the difficulties of achieving it.
During my Service Project, I began to work, think, and grow in new ways. The project was to place scannable signs along a local Rails-to-Trails trail, called The Mountain Goat Trail, so anyone can access local information with minimal detraction from nature through a technologically adept venture. The physical signs link to digital content, allowing its message to mature and progress over time. This enables more dynamic and adjustable content such as videos or bird calls, all from your smartphone. The project was chosen because it has the opportunity to redefine what a sign can show.
When I would speak of "my project," I referred to it as "The Project." I felt it showed the project was for the community. That changed my view of "me," because I now think of "we," the community. It might be a simple concept, but to realize that fully for the first time changed my entire outlook and my future. With this in mind, the project became more than the sum of its parts, which shares a parallel with families and communities. This marks my transition into adulthood because I will no longer be relying solely on my family. Instead, I have realized the importance of community.
Mirroring my own values, my ambition for the project reflects my own interest in teaching and showing through my ideas to anyone passing by the signs. I also see the potential for further expansion of the project and the idea behind it. This is very encouraging to me at this stage in my life. I have been grateful for the recognition "the project" and it has given me a confidence to take on more responsibilities, and to seek further growth, for myself and the project. The knowledge I have gained will benefit me in the future.
I see a similarity between me and trees regarding growth. It is just as important for me as a being, that as I grow up, I branch out in order to advance myself. I realize I owe a lot to the people who have guided me along my own path so far, and in a sense I am giving back by guiding people along another type of path. I can see that I can be a productive part of my community. I have a responsibility and a debt to this world that I will repay through learning and service. The measure to become an adult is general and hard to define, but if I branch out as I grow up, I think it will help me reach my potential.
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Amazing! I really liked it, but I feel like somewhere in the essay you should say what exactly it is that you love about helping your community. How you felt when you first helped, or the defining moment in full details aside from that it is very compelling :)
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That changed my view of "me," because I now think of "we," the community.
I feel this is the most important thing here. But you have not told how this "me" view changed to "we". You need to show that transition through your experience. There are whole heap of statements you make that you did this, you did that. If you talked them through your experience while having other people also in those examples, then your story is much more convincing. Hope you got what I meant!
