Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

'NOT YET'; any experience or accomplishment that defines me? (College Entrance Essay)


thaaatgirlll 1 / -  
Aug 2, 2014   #1
Have you ever wondered why people write essays? From my experience, I have been writing essays since I was in first grade. As I got older, however, the essay questions became harder; the essays longer. Gone were the cute questions easily answerable by a yes or a no and the meaningless essay only your six-year-old self can write and get away with it.

I can never forget the fact when I first wrote a proper essay that I was proud of. For the first time, I garnered full marks and a stamp my little self always dreamed of having. Looking back, I realized a deeper reason of my pride. If one compares that essay to the essays I did in first grade, one can see a lot of differences. The former was full in the sense that it had more meaning and understanding than the latter. Like me, it "grew up" and became more mature.

Now, since I am in the fourth and last year of high school, essays are everywhere. Test essays, reflection essays, project essays, college application essays; it's like teachers have this gigantic pile of deep and reflective questions that they're too happy to give out. (Good job! Here's an essay question that's so deep you question your purpose in this world, yourself, and whatnot.)

Honestly, despite all the bad reputation it gets, I have a soft spot for essays. When I write them, I feel like I have been transported to another world. In this world, I can write whatever I want, the emotions I'm currently feeling, everything, without the fear of judgement weighing me down. I feel infinite, to quoteCharlie in Stephen Chboksy's The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As a result, my essays are passionate, full of what I consider my voice as a writer.

Faced with this question, however, "Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped define you as a person?" I am at a total loss. I do not know what experiences I should write about or the accomplishments that have defined me as a person. I have wrote and rewrote what feels like a hundred essays only to crumple them up and start again, a waste of time and paper. I have sat in the same chair, in the same spot for days, going down memory lane, and reevaluating myself in hopes of finding an experience, an accomplishment- anything!- that have made me who I am today. I was so desperate that I did not even care if that experience or accomplishment defined me; as long as I have something to write about, anything would do.

Seeing as this is the nth essay I'm writing, I have realized why I am suffering from this block. It is because, to simply put, I do not have experiences or accomplishments that defined me as a person, or if I do, I cannot remember them anymore. Sure, there might be experiences and accomplishments that stood out, but they never really made much of an impact. Experiences, as the famous saying goes, are the best teachers. To me, they were just fulfilling that role. Indeed, through them, I have gained and learned valuable lessons and insights that were essential in the growth of my character and being; it never happened that because of that particular experience or accomplishment, I was now known as this or that. For me, those experiences or accomplishments were not meant to define; they were meant to help.

To this day, an experience or accomplishment that defines me still has not happened. Am I worried? No. Should I be? I don't think so. In the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, it says that there is a time for everything. Maybe now is not the right time for me to have that experience or accomplishment; maybe it would still take 5,10,50,100 years before that happens. However, I am not afraid because I know my time will come; I will wait. Until then, I treat everyday as if this was the experience I am waiting for; I treat my friends and family and all those who are dear to me as my greatest accomplishments in life. My daily mission: laugh longer, smile wider, pray harder, be friendlier, stand taller, and do better than what I did the day before.

--------------
Hi! This is my application essay for ateneo de manila university. Hopefully, I can get it. Constructive criticism is much appreciated :)

keellyross 1 / 1 1  
Aug 3, 2014   #2
Have you ever wondered why people write essays? From my experience, I believe this is where you should start your essay, using a question for your hook is cliche I have been writing essays since I was in first grade. As I got older, however, the essay questions became harder; the essays longer. Gone were the cute questions easily answered with a yes or a no and the meaningless essays only your six-year-old self could get away with it.

I can never forget the fact when I first wrote a proper essay that I was proud of. this sentence doesn't really make sense, try rewording For the first time I garnered full marks and a stamp my little self always dreamed of having. Looking back, I realize a deeper meaning for my overwhelming pride . If one were to compare that essay to the essays I did in first grade, they would see a lot of differences. The former was full in the sense that it had more meaning and understanding than the latter. Kind of confusing, which one is former and which latter? Like myself , it "grew up" I don't think this needs to be in quotes and matured .

Now, since I am in my fourth and last year of high school, essays are everywhere. Test essays, reflection essays, project essays, college application essays; it's like teachers have this gigantic pile of deep and reflective questions that they're too happy.. maybe eager instead? to give out. (Good job! Here's an essay question that's so deep you question your purpose in this world, yourself, and whatnot.)

Honestly, despite all the bad reputation it gets it doesn't really get a bad reputation, reputation is possessive so maybe say despite all the bad reputations it has , I have a soft spot for essays. When I write them, I feel like I have been transported to another world. A world where I can write whatever I want without the fear of judgement weighing me down. I feel infinite, to quote Charlie in Stephen Chboksy's The Perks of Being a Wallflower . As a result, my essays are passionate and full of what I consider to be my voice as a writer.

Faced with this question, however, "Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped define you as a person?" never directly quote the question!!!! I am at a total loss. I do not know what experiences I should write about or the accomplishments that have defined me as a person. I have wrote and rewrote what feels like a hundred essays only to crumple them up and start again, a waste of time and paper. I have sat in the same chair, in the same spot for days, going down memory lane, and reevaluating myself in hopes of finding an experience, an accomplishment- anything!- that have made me who I am today. I was so desperate that I did not even care if that experience or accomplishment defined me; as long as I had something to write about, anything would do.

Seeing as this is the nth essay I'm writing I have realized why I am suffering from this block. It is because, to put it simply , I do not have experiences or accomplishments that defined me as a person, or if I do, I cannot remember them anymore. Sure, there might be experiences and accomplishments that stood out, but they never really made much of an impact. Experiences, as the famous saying goes, are the best teachers. To me, they were just fulfilling that role. Indeed, through them, I have gained and learned valuable lessons and insights that were essential in the growth of my character and being; it never happened that because of that particular experience or accomplishment, I was now known as this or that. For me, those experiences or accomplishments were not meant to define; they were meant to help.

To this day, an experience or accomplishment that defines me still has not happened. Am I worried? No. Should I be? I don't think so. In the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, it says that there is a time for everything. Maybe now is not the right time for me to have that experience or accomplishment; maybe it would still take 5,10,50,100 years before that happens. However, I am not afraid because I know my time will come; I will wait. Until then, I treat everyday as if this was the experience I am waiting for; I treat my friends and family and all those who are dear to me as my greatest accomplishments in life. My daily mission: laugh longer, smile wider, pray harder, be friendlier, stand taller, and do better than what I did the day before.

The essay question asked about an accomplishment that HELPED define you and you said yourself: For me, those experiences or accomplishments were not meant to define; they were meant to help. They want to hear about one of those accomplishments not about how you like to write essays. I think this essay is good but its not on topic at all and I think the admissions office will think this is a lazy way of getting out of writing an essay.

But you do have very good voice and the essay itself was nice.
I hope this helped.
EyadBosy 1 / 3 2  
Aug 4, 2014   #3
Generally speaking I think you have to mention your own story, do you attend any workshops regarding writing your statement of purpose, I am sorry, I think you are out of scope, can you search you tube for videos on how to write an essay? I am talking about the contents, do you got my point? your ability to write is perfect but what to write is the issue.

If we look to the topic, may I suggest these corrections:
Have you ever wondered why people write essays? From my experience, I have been writing essays since I was in first grade. As I got older, however, the essay questions became harder; the essays appeared longer. Gone were the cute questions easily answerable by a yes or a no and the meaningless essay only your six-year-old self can write and get away with it. (I cannot understand what you mean)

I can never forget the fact when I first wrote a proper essay that I was proud of. For the first time, I garnered full marks and a stamp my little self always dreamed of having. Looking back, I realized a deeper reason of my pride. If one compares that essay to the essays I did in first grade, one can see a lot of differences. The former was full in the sense that it had more meaning and understanding than the latter. Like me, it "grew up" had grown up and became more mature.


Home / Undergraduate / 'NOT YET'; any experience or accomplishment that defines me? (College Entrance Essay)