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An Experience that has been particularly meaningful to me is when I gave birth to my son. FAMU Essay


ayee_vis 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2015   #1
1. Describe an activity, interest, experience, or achievement in your life (this could be a book, movie or an activity or experience at work, home or school) that has been particularly meaningful to you.

And This Is What I Have So Far:

An Experience that has been particularly meaningful to me is when I gave birth to my son. Having him in my life completely changed me. A year ago i would have never thought i would be a mother, but this experience has been a blessing and it has given me the motivation to do my best at everthing in my life. I want to attend FAMU because i am determined to complete school and follow my dreams. i want to be an example for my son and show him that no matter what life throws at you, that you should still finish what you started. Getting An Education is important to me and my son makes me want it even more.

(i still need to edit it as far as grammar goes)

dquinlan11 - / 16 7  
Mar 11, 2015   #2
Hello ayee_vis,
Having a child is truly a wonderful experience! Would this be your entire answer or is this just the introductory paragraph? I ask because if it's your complete answer to the prompt, I'd consider including some details or a short anecdote about the events/circumstances surrounding your son's birth. Those details will set your answer apart from the other answers given by other applicants. It will give the admission people something concrete to remember you by when they're discussing the merits of each applicant.

If this is the introductory paragraph, I'd suggest quickly outlining in a conversational fashion what you would like to say with your answer; namely, an short anecdote about what makes your son's birth meaningful, and how that relates to this scholarship (which you've mostly already done here). Let me know if you'd like any help in crafting that.
Freelanson - / 2  
Mar 11, 2015   #3
Hi,
everthing in my life error and
at you, that you should still finish what you started no need to put THAT over there


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