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"experienced gained from working as a bank teller" - Common App Extracurricular


ivann92 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2010   #1
This is the prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

I decided to elaborate on my experience working as a bank teller.
Please critique it. I wont be offended if you are harsh. If you help me, I will help you. THANKS in advance.

"What do you mean I have a late charge on my mortgage!? I paid my mortgage two weeks ago, young man! So don't tell me what I need to do!"

This is the type of customer dissatisfaction that I regularly deal with working as a bank teller. How I chose to mitigate the situation and rectify the problem is essential. I have realized that if I answer calmly and retain my composure, then that same attitude will transfer onto the customer and the problem would be solved. Against this background, I have realized that interpersonal skills are essential for success not only in a bank setting but also everywhere I go. Likewise, success in this world often depends on the relationships that we develop with others. My experience as a bank teller has fostered my social skills that I will utilize in my future career as a physical therapist.

It is 149 words by the way.

cmdgolf3 2 / 1  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
How I choose to mitigate the situation and rectify the problem is crucial??

that same attitude will transfer onto the customer and the promblem gets resolved

Also, I'm not sure what you mean by against my background in the 7th sentence. Might want to change the wording a bit.

Other than that I thought it was very creative and well written!
OP ivann92 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
Thanks for editing cmdgolf3!


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