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Are there any experiences or accomplishments that helped define you as a person


bianxii08 1 / -  
Jul 12, 2009   #1
That's the theme of the essay that I should write. Please give me some tips, or advise, how to start my essay. PLEASE

Thank you

From the very beginning of my childhood, I never believed in myself. I see myself as an unintelligent, worthless human that can never achieve anything. Maybe because I let everyone's criticism affect me. No matter how nasty those words are, I consider them true.

This belief affected everything that I do, most especially in school. I did not join any school activities that we had; Cheering Competition, Quiz Bees, Exhibits, etc. I ignored plenty of opportunities for me to excel. Because of this, I saw myself got worse.

I started to hate myself. There were times that I couldn't do anything but to cry because of the anger that I felt towards myself. I wanted to ask for my family's comfort, but I decided not to. Because I feared that if they knew that I don't trust myself they might distrust me too and I know that they'll be worried if they see that I am in pain.

That pushed me to realize that how can my own family trust me if I can't even trust myself. Through this realization, I was determined to start believing in myself. I began to think that why should I let those criticisms affect me when they're not even true. I also thought that I know myself better than other's do so why should I believe them.

After this conflict that I had with myself, I became better and stronger. I started to do things that I never did before. I joined different activities in school: academic and sports contests and I also began to join different clubs.

This experience did not only gain the confidence that I needed for me to trust myself, but it also made me realize that nobody can interfere me with my goals. I know and I believe that there's nothing that I cannot do. With this strength that I have, I will not let anyone or anything stop me in achieving the success that I want. I know that there will be a lot of challenges in reaching my goal, but instead of running away from it I will whole-heartedly face it. Because I know that every challenge in life molds me to become a better person.

please helpl me:(

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 13, 2009   #2
I saw myself as an unintelligent, worthless human who could never achieve anything. Maybe because I let everyone's criticism affect me. No matter how nasty those words were , I considered them true.

This belief affected everything that I did , most especially in school.

Be very sure to make these corrections! You must make it very clear that you believed these things in the past -- not now. Go through your essay very carefully and make sure that any references to such feelings are in pasttense.

That pushed me to wonder, " how can my own family trust me if I can't even trust myself?"After this realization, I was determined to start believing in myself.

This turning point is the heart of your essay. Please give more details about it.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jul 13, 2009   #3
After this conflict that I had with myself,

Conflict is the heart and soul of a good narrative. You manage to gloss over yours in a single sentence. Show us how you struggled to overcome your self-doubts, what events caused you to slowly begin to believe in yourself, and so on.
aan027 2 / 7  
Jul 14, 2009   #4
After this conflict that I had with myself, I became better and stronger. I started to do things that I never did before. I joined different activities in school: academic and sports contests and I also began to join different clubs.

- Like other's have generally said, you may want to narrow your topic down. To me, the essay should have an inspirational feel to it because you overcame all these difficulties, but because of the vague language I don't feel much emotion. Overall its a decent essay but it seems very bland and generic to me.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 14, 2009   #5
because of the vague language I don't feel much emotion. Overall its a decent essay but it seems very bland and generic to me.

Right. Everybody says that they have overcome obstacles and become stronger as a result. The idea is to be specific about the obstacles, the ways that you overcame them, and what you learned.


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