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What personal experiences have changed the way I think about myself?


FrankieCline 1 / -  
Sep 6, 2012   #1
What personal experiences have changed the way I think about myself?

Hey daddy...remember me? Your little girl...but im now grown up and my only problem is you. Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you, "Dad"! Where were you when I needed you the most in my life? You were never at my side; you just wanted a carefree life. My dad has never been in my life always in and out never to stay long enough for us to have a father daughter relationship. My parents divorced when I was very young. I always thought I was "daddy's girl." But I guess I was wrong.You have a father for a reason, their supposed to keep the boys away and tell you they have cooties. I have people all the time who tell me im doing great without a father how mature I am and that im better without him but really I want that father figure in my life someone who can be there when me and my mom fight who will be on my side and stick up for me. My mother grew up without a mother so she never really new how to be a mother she had to teach herself. Now im growing up without a father who is supposed to give you advice and know things that a mother doesn't know. A father is very important in the sense of showing his daughter the way that she should be treated by a man. A father is very important in a young girl's life. This is why a girl deserves to have a father in her life. Girls who grow up with a father figure in their life develop a better relationship with men because they see and learn from their fathers how men are supposed to act. It's sad because I know he wants to be in my life but he just chooses not to because him and my mom don't get along. Im sure he loves me but how do I know for sure. I have tried so many times to keep in touch and be a great daughter. But I have realized that it was never me. I was never the reason of all this. It was him all along, he was immature and didn't care enough to make things work. I am now 18 years old and to this day my father is still not in my life. This has made me stronger as a person. In my own definition a strong person is one who is afraid, but is willing to move forward and willing to accept pain in order to learn experience. I'm creating the future for myself, instead of just letting it happen. I want things to change for me and for me to have a better life. This makes me
Rajiv 55 / 400  
Sep 10, 2012   #2
The personal experience that changed the way you think about yourself was not having your father 'in your life'.

You start well, very personally, but your voice moves to 'third person' in the middle. That works metaphorically, since you are saying how you've become independent, and no longer need your dad. But it will more likely come across as sloppy. Either, make the language crisper to clearly show your use of the metaphor, or do this in a conventional manner staying with one voice.

Your ideas are good. Try breaking up the essay into paragraphs.


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