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"My experiences in England" - Event/experience in life essay - University of Florida


samaii 2 / 4  
Oct 18, 2010   #1
Here is the essay topic guidelines:
"In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service."

Here is my essay:
When I was nine years old, my family temporarily moved to Sheffield, England for my father's fellowship. I was transferred from my habitual international school to an English public school where I was the only international student out of the hundreds of students enrolled. Every other student around me was "white", and even though I obviously stood out, I made quick friends with most all of my classmates. Then, one day, one of my closest friends at the school started alienating me. Later, I found out that she didn't like me anymore simply because I was "brown."

Six months later I moved back to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, where I attended my previous American international school. Having never been removed from such an environment before, I came back to school with a different attitude. My experiences in England led me to forever cherish my school and its diversity for the next seven years. I can proudly say that I am a third-culture kid: in other words, a child of planet Earth. Third culture kids are those children who have lived in a country other than their native country for the majority of their lives, thereby integrating their own culture with other cultures and creating a third culture of their own.

My closest friends are Pakistani, Filipino, Indonesian, Singaporean, Bengali, Turkish, American, Lebanese... and the list goes on. The greatest experience and blessing of my life, which I value greatly, is the experience of having grown up while attending a purely international school. Through this, I grew up learning about different cultures, religions and different points of views. I had to be responsible and careful of taking consideration of all types of people, while also learned many great collective values from them, like integrity and unity. While I have gained a great depth of knowledge and understanding, I cannot explain how much fun we have all had learning other cultures and languages. I know how to say, "I love you" in so many languages, as well as have integrated certain colloquial phrases in my speech and have integrated many different types of foods into my own diet. My acquired traits and experiences consequently helped me receive the Varsity Global Citizen award in May 2010, which is by far my most valued achievement.

I am a child of diversity. I will bring values, beliefs, and ideas with me to the University of Florida. With these aspects comes a sense of belonging and togetherness. I am able to look past differences and help everyone realize that our individual differences are what make us collectively stronger. So here's to diversity: our unifying factor.

-------------------
Thanks in advance!
Sama.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 22, 2010   #2
The greatest experience and blessing of my life, which I value greatly, is the experience of having grown up while attending a purely international school. Through this, I grew up learning about different cultures, religions and different points of views. All this can be cut if you want to make some room for more material. I would do this:

My closest friends are Pakistani, Filipino, Indonesian, Singaporean, Bengali, Turkish, American, Lebanese... and the list goes on. I have had to be responsible and careful of taking...

That way you will have some room to add content about the "third culture kid" concept to the beginning of the third paragraph. That is my idea for you. It is such a great concept! But this stuff I scratched out (above) is not so important. How about adding some material about exactly what kind of person this third culture kid has become.

For example, instead of writing, "I will bring values, beliefs, and ideas," you can write about a SPECIFIC idea that is most important to you... a specific mission you are on as you enter your professional field.

:-)
Desilean 6 / 12  
Oct 23, 2010   #3
Every other student around me was "white" , and even though I obviously stood out, I made quick friends with most all of my classmates....Later, I found out that she didn't like me anymore simply because I was "brown."

you don't have to change anything because it does sound well with the story. However, does these words have to be used? Can you change the words to Caucasian and African American..?

just a suggestion...
bellaboo 1 / 2  
Oct 25, 2010   #4
Great essay, I feel your diversity will stand out to the admissions officers because diversity is definately what their looking for as a perfect fit for the Gator community
OP samaii 2 / 4  
Oct 29, 2010   #5
Thanks everyone. :)

I changed the "white" "brown" - sorry that was just a draft, I didn't know the right words. And I didn't want to offend anyone.


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