Prompt: What aspirations, experiences or relationships have motivated you to study in the eight-year Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program?
When I was six years old, I cheated death. I had eaten half a full bottle of Flintstones Vitamins. When my mother found out, the color drained from her face. Panicking she asked how many vitamins I had eaten. I just stood there smiling and blatantly lied, "I only ate two." Angry, she burst into tears and called 911. I stood there confused because I did not understand why my mother was so concerned, but happy because I had eaten all of my favorite purple vitamins. At the time, I was unaware of the consequences to my actions, but my mother knew exactly what could have happened. However, when the pediatrician in the emergency room reassured my mother that I would be fine, she calmed down. I was amazed that a complete stranger could show so much compassion and confidence to calm both my mother and me. This memory stayed with me and when I think about what I want to do with my life, I am hopeful that I can become a pediatrician who helps an ailing child and a vulnerable parent cope.
I have always been fascinated with science and loved children. In my high school anatomy class, when other students did not want to dissect the cat, I was the one to pick up the scalpel and make the first cut. Despite the depth and rigor of this course, my interest in science never dwindled or faltered. If anything, being challenged fueled my desire to better understand and simplify the complex world we live in. Class trips to museums and conducting research over the summer participating in advanced seminars introduced me to new scientific topics and solidified my desire to focus my education towards biological science. Moreover, my love for children progresses each time I babysit and supervise children as a volunteer for volleyball kiddy camps. Because of these experiences, I eagerly anticipate balancing my passion for science and helping children into a profession that can ease the fear of a parent and child when the child's health is compromised.
I have a common goal with Rice University and Baylor College of Medicine. We want to make discoveries, innovations, and heal our world through our commitment to a lifelong pursuit of knowledge. We do not want to sit on the back burner as the world changes, but be the driving force of those changes. Rice and Baylor have the resources and educational programs that can nurture my intellectual and personal growth. Furthermore, learning and collaborating with other motivated students will create a focused and interactive learning environment and the opportunity to create lasting friendships.
I have big goals, but I also need a unique educational program and support system to guide me through the correct path towards obtaining a baccalaureate/MD degree- the Rice/Baylor program is the support I need. This program will allow me to hone my talents and express my passion for science and children in a constructive way, a way that benefits and serves humanity.
Any and all feedback is welcomed!
Thank you in advance!!!!!
Your essay is well thought out and written. However, there is a disconnection between the paragraphs. The essence of the essay would have been better received and made clearer if you had somehow made a relation or connection between your childhood experience and your growing interest in medical science over the years. Doing so would have shown a clear career interest, development, and pathway for your future. With regards to your statement about Baylor and Rice University, you already know that they are on the cutting edge of the medical field, so a statement or so about how and why you were motivated to study at the university, particularly in the realm of possible research that you can start during your time a student there and how you will utilize the school facilities, professors, mentor programs, internships, etc, would be definitely plus points for your application as it can show how you will become a definite asset to the student community and the university prestige in particular.
