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'Experiencing success' - University of Florida


JDMONTY 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2012   #1
Is this too broad for the prompt? Its only the introduction, and i intend on relating it to my contributions to the campus but i want to know if this is a good direction.

Describe a meaningful event or experience and how it will affect your college experience.

Though storm threatens the integrity of my ship, its winds fill my sails. It is not often that shipmen do tell tails, yet since it is asked, I will tell a legend of my life.

Early morning, I embark under a blanket of red sky, and though superstition has yet to prove itself to me, I do take notice. I was raised in a house with a revolving door of siblings, while foster children came and went, I had a rare glimpse of a life that could have been, and a furthered appreciation of the permanence of my adoption. I soon met the conditions of the course I was navigating. The wind met my sails when, in second grade, I was recommended to be evaluated by a psychologist, it was concluded that along with dyslexia, severe ADHD, and visual-spacial issues, I was ell with in the gifted range of intelligence. Adjusting my sail, I took to cursive, combating my dyslexia, and on a new tack, I began to take medicine to control my ADHD. For overcoming my difficulties I received the President's Award. Transitioning to middle school, I continued to experience success, winning two science fairs at the district level and advancing to state the second time. It was also during these years that I began sailing competitively throughout Florida.

Thank you
srp284cave 4 / 11  
Sep 21, 2012   #2
I find this intro odd, but it works. btw, it's "tales" not tails.
congrats on your success story, but make sure the rest of your essay sails smoothly


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